View Full Version : Can you accept Cohabitation?
I notice, the trend is for the couple to stay together first before they agree to get married...
Can u accept this, especially if your children particularly your daughter?
I find it very very difficult to accept.....anyway, sex before marriage is already the norm...
i won't allow my daughter :o
jacelynchia
24-11-12, 18:59
Nowadays so many divorce cases, better play safe and as long as the two are happy, it is enough.
I cohabited for a year before getting engaged.
its the pragmatic choice to avoid future problems.
a holiday or two isnt the same as experiencing daily grind of living in each others faces.
buttercarp
24-11-12, 19:29
i won't allow my daughter :o
Me too, son can, daughter cannot.
ROM before marrying traditionally.
Stay together to test out.
If really cannot then annul marriage.
In a relationship, there is usually one party that loves more, sacrifices more or gives in more... I know it sounds silly. How about staying next door so that they are close yet no need to compromise their lifestyle or habits to please the other party . Haha :)
i won't allow my daughter :o
i will allow my son...:spliff:...but too bad no son...but NOT my daughter...:D:D:D
Nowadays so many divorce cases, better play safe and as long as the two are happy, it is enough.
I cohabited for a year before getting engaged.
cheers welcome to the club...before marriage i had 1kg of hair on my head...:D...now left 499grams...whahaha:D:D:D
I'm ok with it, just like getting 30 days free trial with money back guarantee. Better than end up getting a lemon for life. :rolleyes:
Living together is totally different from courtship. :2cents:
jacelynchia
24-11-12, 20:16
cheers welcome to the club...before marriage i had 1kg of hair on my head...:D...now left 499grams...whahaha:D:D:D
hahaha, yours is hair fall problem due to aging!
I notice, the trend is for the couple to stay together first before they agree to get married...
Can u accept this, especially if your children particularly your daughter?
I find it very very difficult to accept.....anyway, sex before marriage is already the norm...
you said it yourself. sex b4 marriage already quite norm. cohabit possibly increase the frequency, that's all. :doh: :doh: :doh:
2 perspective. GOOD - it allows free trial, return product is unsatisfied. BAD - if already married, will try to tolerate or change. if not married, just return product. so it encourages singlehood indirectly.
but with divorce being so prevalent, i think the "BAD" part negligible lah. anyhow nowadays not happy also suka suka divorce
If that lead to marriage still not tt bad , there are many cohabitation trend now become long term and address each partners ..
If that lead to marriage still not tt bad , there are many cohabitation trend now become long term and address each partners ..
if intention not to have kids, marriage and partners actually not much diff. without the legal tie, there is less pressure to stay together, which might lead to a more relax relship.
no right or wrong, personal opinion. dun ask me abt my kids, by then 20-30 years from now, many things would have changed already.
buttercarp
24-11-12, 20:42
Lol.......
All allow son but not daughter.
So finally no one to cohabitate with.
Only perhaps the msm.
Lol
All allow son but not daughter.
So finally no one to cohabitate with.
Only perhaps the msm.
that's why gay on the rise. all the sons allowed to cohabitate
More cohabitate..... Rental huat ah
I am going to divorce my wife and then cohabitate with her to get another rental income. Huat Ah...
hahaha, yours is hair fall problem due to aging!
aging after marriage...:D:D:D
I am going to divorce my wife and then cohabitate with her to get another rental income. Huat Ah...
WE ARE SINGAPORE SINGAPORE.....SINGAPOREAN....:D:D:D:D
jacelynchia
24-11-12, 21:51
WE ARE SINGAPORE SINGAPORE.....SINGAPOREAN....:D:D:D:D
haha, 100% SINGAPOREAN!:D
Do you need me to recommend some anti hair fall shampoo?
haha, 100% SINGAPOREAN!:D
Do you need me to recommend some anti hair fall shampoo?
ha ha...no need la...BOTAK is the BEST....:D:D:D
jacelynchia
24-11-12, 22:08
ha ha...no need la...BOTAK is the BEST....:D:D:D
Hahahha, maybe too chilly.:D
Actually this cohabitation issue is very small, nowadays people follow their hearts and besides I do know friends who are not married but staying together for a long time.
It's funny that daughters cannot be allowed to cohabitat but sons can, what is there more to lose?
auroraborealis
24-11-12, 22:22
in SG not so common, cos muz rent apt
if study overseas, very common
in fact even in our generation when we studied uni in Aussie, like 15-20yrs ago :D
I notice, the trend is for the couple to stay together first before they agree to get married...
Can u accept this, especially if your children particularly your daughter?
I find it very very difficult to accept.....anyway, sex before marriage is already the norm...
Hahahha, maybe too chilly.:D
Actually this cohabitation issue is very small, nowadays people follow their hearts and besides I do know friends who are not married but staying together for a long time.
It's funny that daughters cannot be allowed to cohabitat but sons can, what is there more to lose?
sis 9 months...sis 9 months...:scared-4::scared-4::scared-4:
for a man its 9 minutes or maybe some NOT so STRONG type 9 secs of pleasure:D:D:D
but for a woman its 9 months 9 months:doh::doh::doh:
wat happened to sg men... my last session was more like 90mins....
jacelynchia
24-11-12, 22:46
sis 9 months...sis 9 months...:scared-4::scared-4::scared-4:
for a man its 9 minutes or maybe some NOT so STRONG type 9 secs of pleasure:D:D:D
but for a woman its 9 months 9 months:doh::doh::doh:
HAHAHA!:D I'm speechless.
Carbuncle, 90 minutes is more like massage lah.
It's funny that daughters cannot be allowed to cohabitat but sons can, what is there more to lose?
Its may be politically incorrect to say so, but the truth is society values chastity in a woman more than in a man.
making love is not just about the act itself. foreplay and intimacy is equally if not more impt. all adds up to 90mins lol.
jacelynchia
24-11-12, 23:00
Its may be politically incorrect to say so, but the truth is society values chastity in a woman more than in a man.
Cohabitation will not affect a woman's chastity unless it's like friends with benefits situation.
I feel many couples are stressed to be married because of responsibilities.
Carbuncle, 90 mins is one and a half hours!:D
making love is not just about the act itself. foreplay and intimacy is equally if not more impt. all adds up to 90mins lol.
brrrr.... shivers, goose pimples and hair standing.... brrr
Cohabitation will not affect a woman's chastity unless it's like friends with benefits situation.
I feel many couples are stressed to be married because of responsibilities.
Carbuncle, 90 mins is one and a half hours!:D
It does not matter what a couple actually does or does not do during cohabitation. It is assumed.
jacelynchia
24-11-12, 23:20
It does not matter what a couple actually does or does not do during cohabitation. It is assumed.
Yes, It was assumed but this is reality, nothing to hide.
As long as it is not a friends with benefits situation, it's really fine.
Marriages may not last as long as cohabitation.
Yes, It was assumed but this is reality, nothing to hide.
As long as it is not a friends with benefits situation, it's really fine.
Marriages may not last as long as cohabitation.
Yes there's nothing to hide. So the assumption is correct. as you have confirmed.
Btw, friends with benefits don't cohabit... in fact just the opposite.
I am not judging, but it is still true that in general society values chastity more in a woman than in a man.
Also cohabitation can last long because there is less commitment than in a marriage. The stakes are higher in a marriage.
I agree with the One Person One PC principle!
Each person should have his own PC.
If married, agree to stay in one rent out the other, share the rentals.
If divorce, each one take back own PC.
In this case, demand for PC will surge, Office Boy will gain big time!
DKSG
I feel many couples are stressed to be married because of responsibilities.
Yes that is true, there are many responsibilities in a marriage. There is a lot of stress. One key stress is being parents.
In a cohabitation set-up, by definition your children are bastards.
jacelynchia
25-11-12, 00:50
Yes that is true, there are many responsibilities in a marriage. There is a lot of stress. One key stress is being parents.
In a cohabitation set-up, by definition your children are bastards.
hahaha, your description is technically correct.
I find too stressful to bring up children now so not planning to have any.
I will not let my children do it. Ma chiam like testing ice cream before deciding which flavour to buy. Girls on the losing end le.
I will not let my children do it. Ma chiam like testing ice cream before deciding which flavour to buy. Girls on the losing end le.
I mean "tasting"...
I will definitely not allow my boy or girl to do it. Merely teaching them that there is always an escape route in life or an easy route out is not in my scope. They must also learn that they must stand firm and make things happen... ;) Just my opinion!!!
In a relationship, there is usually one party that loves more, sacrifices more or gives in more... I know it sounds silly. How about staying next door so that they are close yet no need to compromise their lifestyle or habits to please the other party . Haha :)
if one party needs to give in more, then likely the two are not right match for each other. in this universe everything needs to be balanced :D
if one party needs to give in more, then likely the two are not right match for each other. in this universe everything needs to be balanced :D
Agreed :cheers4:
http://weheartlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/07/life-balance.jpg
I spoke to few post 80s, their reasoning.
1. if u don't stay together, how would u know thing works
2. isn't it worst to get divorce
3. since we alr hv relationship, so what is the diff?
4. I am alr an adult, I know what I am doing.....
see. gen y very pragmatic. western culture and internet influence notwithstanding.
Cohabitation will not affect a woman's chastity unless it's like friends with benefits situation.
I feel many couples are stressed to be married because of responsibilities.
Carbuncle, 90 mins is one and a half hours!:D
U r saying thats too much or not enough?
Sinkies really have problems with sex and intimacy huh? Or perhaps they find it a waste of time.
I will definitely not allow my boy or girl to do it. Merely teaching them that there is always an escape route in life or an easy route out is not in my scope. They must also learn that they must stand firm and make things happen... ;) Just my opinion!!!
Me too, I will not allow my son or daughter to do that. Most of us are worried for our daughters, at the losing end but how about our son's girlfriend, she is a lady too, she will be at a losing end too. I know of someone who has cohabited with her boyfriend, she said married need 1 paper, divorce, also need 1 paper, it is only the paper that bind/separate them. Another of my friends said, spend so much money on wedding, if end up divorce, then not worth it. So for a lady, don't act on impulse or out of emotion when choosing a husband, at least find someone who has a good character and do not have lots of bad habits, that is my :2cents:.
if intention not to have kids, marriage and partners actually not much diff. without the legal tie, there is less pressure to stay together, which might lead to a more relax relship.
no right or wrong, personal opinion. dun ask me abt my kids, by then 20-30 years from now, many things would have changed already.
Marriage is intended to have a family , with or with out kids which is come about as the result . and not so much to married to have kid. As for legal tie should come the least but unfortunately not the case in today context.
Yea, is become a personal perspective today..
see. gen y very pragmatic. western culture and internet influence notwithstanding.
Gen y , in my opinion , is like 1/2/plus 6.. Not here nor there, is a lost identities ..
There could be lady who used it to control the guy. :p
Me too, I will not allow my son or daughter to do that. Most of us are worried for our daughters, at the losing end but how about our son's girlfriend, she is a lady too, she will be at a losing end too. I know of someone who has cohabited with her boyfriend, she said married need 1 paper, divorce, also need 1 paper, it is only the paper that bind/separate them. Another of my friends said, spend so much money on wedding, if end up divorce, then not worth it. So for a lady, don't act on impulse or out of emotion when choosing a husband, at least find someone who has a good character and do not have lots of bad habits, that is my :2cents:.
buttercarp
25-11-12, 10:28
Gen y , in my opinion , is like 1/2/plus 6.. Not here nor there, is a lost identities ..
Should be half past 6, right?
Carbuncle?
Agreed :cheers4:
http://weheartlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/07/life-balance.jpg
lol..
true la :D
I spoke to few post 80s, their reasoning.
1. if u don't stay together, how would u know thing works
2. isn't it worst to get divorce
3. since we alr hv relationship, so what is the diff?
4. I am alr an adult, I know what I am doing.....
they are referring to physical test? then they need to try out having some kids first before getting married to do the real test :D most of the challenging times is when they have kids. before that is all honeymoon :D :D
yes thx for helping out sis butter lol
There could be lady who used it to control the guy. :p
One of my male friend told me, no matter how still the lady at the losing end, why not get married first, then if really divorce, at least can share part of his ppty, haha. Will you guys marry a lady who had cohabited with someone before?
One of my male friend told me, no matter how still the lady at the losing end, why not get married first, then if really divorce, at least can share part of his ppty, haha. Will you guys marry a lady who had cohabited with someone before?
Many people prefer brand new units, but there are still sub-sale and resale markets. :rolleyes:
Many people prefer brand new units, but there are still sub-sale and resale markets. :rolleyes:
hehehe brand new ones are really good. tend to treasure more and more likely to keep happily ever after:D
To me, marriage is a lifetime affair and not for testing testing only. Must be serious when choosing a life-long partner. Even having courtship for many years, later realised that he/she is not suitable, everytime because of small matters also quarrel, then it is better not to get marry, if not marry, then divorce, what is the use, waste money and also waste time. 长痛不如短痛。
buttercarp
25-11-12, 11:49
Many people prefer brand new units, but there are still sub-sale and resale markets. :rolleyes:
Lol.....
My parents' tenant bought over their unit after renting it for 4 years.
So the tenant test out first, like then buy:) .
I have a colleague who is a staunch Christian. He told me he didnt have sex with his then gf before their marriage. And when they were on bed for the first time after their wedding, he discovered something on her which he could not quite accept. He didn't elaborate but I found it quite amusing when he shared...
Then the other guy told me his newly-wed wife refuses to let him use the bolster when sleeping at night, but he can't sleep without a bolster .. Lol
I have a colleague who is a staunch Christian. He told me he didnt have sex with his then gf before their marriage. And when they were on bed for the first time after their wedding, he discovered something on her which he could not quite accept. He didn't elaborate but I found it quite amusing when he shared...
Then the other guy told me his newly-wed wife refuses to let him use the bolster when sleeping at night, but he can't sleep without a bolster .. Lol
:scared-5::scared-5::scared-5::scared-5::scared-5::scared-5:
buttercarp
25-11-12, 12:10
I have a colleague who is a staunch Christian. He told me he didnt have sex with his then gf before their marriage. And when they were on bed for the first time after their wedding, he discovered something on her which he could not quite accept. He didn't elaborate but I found it quite amusing when he shared...
Then the other guy told me his newly-wed wife refuses to let him use the bolster when sleeping at night, but he can't sleep without a bolster .. Lol
I make a guess - hairy armpits, tattoo below etc. Wow, your colleague is very disciplined. Never inspect before accepting the deal.
One of my male friend told me, no matter how still the lady at the losing end, why not get married first, then if really divorce, at least can share part of his ppty, haha. Will you guys marry a lady who had cohabited with someone before?
very good question irisng, got me thinking. possibly a potential question I have to ask myself.
but before that, wouldn't you have to first ask if you do not mind that a potential gf, a girl you're thinking of chasing, had cohabited in the past?
very good question irisng, got me thinking. possibly a potential question I have to ask myself.
but before that, wouldn't you have to first ask if you do not mind that a potential gf, a girl you're thinking of chasing, had cohabited in the past?
Wow, I also never think of that, suddenly this question pop up from my mind, anyway I'm a woman, so this is out of a question for me.:o
This makes me recall of a case, a man who only knew on his marriage night that his wife had lost her first time to her ex-boyfriend (his wife told him on that night) couldn't accept the fact and file a divorce the next day.:doh:
I believe that there are some men who mind while some don't mind. If not where got re-married cases.
Wow, I also never think of that, suddenly this question pop up from my mind, anyway I'm a woman, so this is out of a question for me.:o
This makes me recall of a case, a man who only knew on his marriage night that his wife had lost her first time to her ex-boyfriend (his wife told him on that night) couldn't accept the fact and file a divorce the next day.:doh:
I believe that there are some men who mind while some don't mind. If not where got re-married cases.
the man should have known before that, by asking? then again maybe the girl gave him the wrong impression. but the woman is a wreck. she should have told him earlier. anyways they clearly don't know each other very well and the man probably made the right choice.
Wow, I also never think of that, suddenly this question pop up from my mind, anyway I'm a woman, so this is out of a question for me.:o
This makes me recall of a case, a man who only knew on his marriage night that his wife had lost her first time to her ex-boyfriend (his wife told him on that night) couldn't accept the fact and file a divorce the next day.:doh:
I believe that there are some men who mind while some don't mind. If not where got re-married cases.
wah kao..another eye opening :scared-5::scared-5::scared-5:
so rolyroly
after so much said. do u want a virgin wife?
so rolyroly
after so much said. do u want a virgin wife?
it is a bonus lor..
The mutual understanding & feeling toward one another is more important.. :o
the man should have known before that, by asking? then again maybe the girl gave him the wrong impression. but the woman is a wreck. she should have told him earlier. anyways they clearly don't know each other very well and the man probably made the right choice.
That's what I said, some people can accept, some cannot. For a couple to be together, they should be sincere to each other during courtship. I think his wife also never expect her husband to have such a great "response".
Some said, once marriage, there's no freedom, but I think marriage can have freedom too if you haven't got kids. 看破一点, don't control your the other half too much and of course he/she must be "automatic" also lah.:p
brrrr.... shivers, goose pimples and hair standing.... brrr
hair standing OK as long something else NOT standing...wahahah:D:D:D
To me, marriage is a lifetime affair and not for testing testing only. Must be serious when choosing a life-long partner. Even having courtship for many years, later realised that he/she is not suitable, everytime because of small matters also quarrel, then it is better not to get marry, if not marry, then divorce, what is the use, waste money and also waste time. 长痛不如短痛。
But many these days are getting married in their early 20s to get BTO! Some girlfriends start work, boyfriend in army, apply first even got free grants! <5k household income
But many these days are getting married in their early 20s to get BTO! Some girlfriends start work, boyfriend in army, apply first even got free grants! <5k household income
yea ..
recent news even got guy get married after just finish NS :doh:
not the right way to influence young people nowadays la..
But many these days are getting married in their early 20s to get BTO! Some girlfriends start work, boyfriend in army, apply first even got free grants! <5k household income
IMHO, that's the problem with the system. Some people apply house before they actually know each other well, when they got the house, no choice, they have to register, then later divorce because they find that they are not suitable for each other.:scared-3:
BTW, what is the actual meaning of the grant and who are they supposed to help?
I have a friend who know his girlfriend since Poly time, after the Poly, the boy went to army and the girl went out to work to earn some income to prepare for her Uni education. After the army, the boy immediately continued his Uni education and the girl gave up her job to pursue her Uni education as well. At the same time she gave part time tuition to continue to support her own 'Uni" school fee. They were graduated this year and both got a job in Aug. They applied for BTO and got it in Sep. They tried to apply for the grant twice but both applications were rejected. Reason being that they don't have 1 full year continuous working experience during the time of application, how to have 1 full year of working experience when they are still schooling. Currently their combine salary is slightly >5K. The girl has some CPF, but still not enough for the downpayment, they have to foot out some cash which is >10K to cover the difference. :doh: That's why they need the grant to help them with the downpayment, both of them are already 26 yrs old this year, by the time they got their house, they will be around 30 yrs old, that's why they need to apply the BTO immediately after they graduate. Sign..... still encourage people to get marry young and have baby, how? already have problem to get a flat, if a baby comes up, it will be another big headache.:scared-3:
yea ..
recent news even got guy get married after just finish NS :doh:
not the right way to influence young people nowadays la..
Came across a case too, testing testing, test until got baby, in the end, no choice, got to get marry and the boy is still in the army.:doh: Not financially sound yet, how to support a family unless the boy has some back support from his parents.
so back to the girl to make sure not to give away until after marriage. there is only one bet. if win will be happiness for the rest of your life. is it worth it? it's obvious. why let a boyfriend toy with you?:D
army boys prone to misfire
IMHO, that's the problem with the system. Some people apply house before they actually know each other well, when they got the house, no choice, they have to register, then later divorce because they find that they are not suitable for each other.:scared-3:
BTW, what is the actual meaning of the grant and who are they supposed to help?
I have a friend who know his girlfriend since Poly time, after the Poly, the boy went to army and the girl went out to work to earn some income to prepare for her Uni education. After the army, the boy immediately continued his Uni education and the girl gave up her job to pursue her Uni education as well. At the same time she gave part time tuition to continue to support her own 'Uni" school fee. They were graduated this year and both got a job in Aug. They applied for BTO and got it in Sep. They tried to apply for the grant twice but both applications were rejected. Reason being that they don't have 1 full year continuous working experience during the time of application, how to have 1 full year of working experience when they are still schooling. Currently their combine salary is slightly >5K. The girl has some CPF, but still not enough for the downpayment, they have to foot out some cash which is >10K to cover the difference. :doh: That's why they need the grant to help them with the downpayment, both of them are already 26 yrs old this year, by the time they got their house, they will be around 30 yrs old, that's why they need to apply the BTO immediately after they graduate. Sign..... still encourage people to get marry young and have baby, how? already have problem to get a flat, if a baby comes up, it will be another big headache.:scared-3:
I feel this is fair. Grants are not meant to help Graduates who are able to earn >2.5k each. Grants are really meant for the needy. Graduates gotta blame themselves for not having enough savings.
When i graduated i had enough for 2 properties
yea ..
recent news even got guy get married after just finish NS :doh:
not the right way to influence young people nowadays la..
ya true. This system is flawed. Honestly, they created the BTO system so that HDBs will not be over supplied right? but which BTO launch these days can't get 70% buyers? every BTO planned is built which means it makes no difference for HDB to build in advance?
We pay ministers and people working in the ministries top dollar. Are they unable to forecast how many flats are needed in the coming years?
Building in advance = married couples are able to get ready built flats like before. So what if during a downturn they have unsold flats? cater these to the needy / rental flats? or sell at cost? HDB is supposed to be public housing anyway.
This will boost marriage rates and birthrates as housing will no longer be a be hindrance to the couple's family planning.
Like what many has shared here, the demographics in Singapore is such that we are having more graduates. Which means that young adults are entering the workforce later. At 25 - 29, imagine the need to wait another 3-5 years for ur BTO HDBs to be built :doh:
as a singaporean, you will forget about the true meaning of living on this earth..
:o
wonder whether the idea of cohabitation is usually proposed by the girl or the boy. if a girl propose to a boy, the boy will be :jump-for-joy: :im-so-happy: :hornybastard: :D
buttercarp
25-11-12, 21:02
wonder whether the idea of cohabitation is usually proposed by the girl or the boy. if a girl propose to a boy, the boy will be :jump-for-joy: :im-so-happy: :hornybastard: :D
What will the boy think of the girl?
Will he think - this gal is just for play play one? Or will he think - this gal cannot anyhow play play one?
What will the boy think of the girl?
Will he think - this gal is just for play play one? Or will he think - this gal cannot anyhow play play one?
i'd think the girl is serious :cool:
I have a colleague who is a staunch Christian. He told me he didnt have sex with his then gf before their marriage. And when they were on bed for the first time after their wedding, he discovered something on her which he could not quite accept. He didn't elaborate but I found it quite amusing when he shared...
Then the other guy told me his newly-wed wife refuses to let him use the bolster when sleeping at night, but he can't sleep without a bolster .. Lol
Something which he has as well?
I spoke to few post 80s, their reasoning.
1. if u don't stay together, how would u know thing works
2. isn't it worst to get divorce
3. since we alr hv relationship, so what is the diff?
4. I am alr an adult, I know what I am doing.....
It would be a shock to me if many of those you said think this way.
Marriage is not just your own interest, satisfaction but is meant for both
to work things out before and after marriage. Give and take. SHaring good times and bad times. Through dating you can actually know each other quite a bit. But if most part of dating is just physical I think something is wrong then you will not know each other even if you cohabit.
I am always a supporter of having the "first" after tying the knot.:D
I feel this is fair. Grants are not meant to help Graduates who are able to earn >2.5k each. Grants are really meant for the needy. Graduates gotta blame themselves for not having enough savings.
When i graduated i had enough for 2 properties
Not everybody are so smart like you and not everybody are given that type of opportunity.
If grant is meant for the needy, why grants are given to those who apply to stay near to their parents. I can say that some of them are actually very rich. The argument might be that govt hope that the children can stay near to the parents to take care of them. The real fact is will everybody take care of the parents when they stay near or they are just making use of this loop hole to earn themselves the grant?
buttercarp
26-11-12, 07:11
I feel this is fair. Grants are not meant to help Graduates who are able to earn >2.5k each. Grants are really meant for the needy. Graduates gotta blame themselves for not having enough savings.
When i graduated i had enough for 2 properties
When i just graduated, i started off with a deficit.
I had to pay back my study loan.
It was from my father's CPF.
Your parents helped you with the 2 properties?
The mutual understanding & feeling toward one another is more important.. :o
Agree + need to give and take too. Cannot always expect the other party to keep giving way to you, that is my :2cents: .
Agree + need to give and take too. Cannot always expect the other party to keep giving way to you, that is my :2cents: .
its fine... the man can keep giving IT and the woman should keep taking IT. :D
buttercarp
26-11-12, 07:33
its fine... the man can keep giving IT and the woman should keep taking IT. :D
It is difficult to swallow things that are in excess.
It should be 2 way.
It is difficult to swallow things that are in excess.
It should be 2 way.
Yes it should be 2 way. The party that keeps giving would ultimately run out of fuel if he/she does not receive anything in return to keep him/her motivated to continue giving
When i just graduated, i started off with a deficit.
I had to pay back my study loan.
It was from my father's CPF.
Your parents helped you with the 2 properties?
Govt "U" can use CPF but private "U" need to use cash leh. My friend's girlfriend had to pay about $8k+ cash per year for 3 years and these are from her own hard-earn saving money during her working days. Her parents cannot afford to pay.
Govt "U" can use CPF but private "U" need to use cash leh. My friend's girlfriend had to pay about $8k+ cash per year for 3 years and these are from her own hard-earn saving money during her working days. Her parents cannot afford to pay.
Yes, I too incurred a debt close to 30k upon graduation. My parents didn't sponsor my uni education.
Not everybody are so smart like you and not everybody are given that type of opportunity.
If grant is meant for the needy, why grants are given to those who apply to stay near to their parents. I can say that some of them are actually very rich. The argument might be that govt hope that the children can stay near to the parents to take care of them. The real fact is will everybody take care of the parents when they stay near or they are just making use of this loop hole to earn themselves the grant?
the truth is, stay near parents got: free dinner/free ironing of clothes/ free childcare/free etc etc etc. who needs the grant. :tongue3:
When i just graduated, i started off with a deficit.
I had to pay back my study loan.
It was from my father's CPF.
Your parents helped you with the 2 properties?
me too. first 2 yrs of career had to pay off a 10k tuition loan with bank. every month pay $400 then can clear, not including interest. and what about allowance to parents?
for the downpayment on 2 pptys mean like minimum 200k in savings (assume 20% down for 500k ppty). probably running a biz b4 graduation. if do tuition every month earn 2k, even if work 5 years also only 120k. and that's assuming no expenses.
or lucky in investment, make alot of $$. if sueh, lose everything.
wonder whether the idea of cohabitation is usually proposed by the girl or the boy. if a girl propose to a boy, the boy will be :jump-for-joy: :im-so-happy: :hornybastard: :D
devil smile.. lol!
but me will be scare... dunno the girl got what motive :scared-4:
:doh: Better to let them stay together rather than to try hanky panky
the truth is, stay near parents got: free dinner/free ironing of clothes/ free childcare/free etc etc etc. who needs the grant. :tongue3:
Bingo. Anyway, if the children really have the heart for their parents, how far is it also no problem. If they don't have the heart, stay next door also no use, the parents might become more busy for doing the extra work.
Just to share one of the cases that I have come across to show that there are also man who doesn't mind a non-virgin wife.
This girl knew the boy who was her neighbour for many years. At that time the girl was about 16 yrs old (still schooling) but the boy was already in his late 20's. One day her mother was seriously ill and she hoped that her daughter could get marry before she died, so they got married and later gave birth to 2 boys. Many years later, they got divorced and the girl knew another man. This man didn't mind about her past and decided to marry her. He didn't tell his mother that her future wife-to-be was a divorcee with 2 children. Till todate his mother still doesn't know. Though her 2 sons followed her ex-husband, but she still tried her best to support her 2 children educations until University and her present husband doesn't mind at all.
Just to share one of the cases that I have come across to show that there are also man who doesn't mind a non-virgin wife.
This girl knew the boy who was her neighbour for many years. At that time the girl was about 16 yrs old (still schooling) but the boy was already in his late 20's. One day her mother was seriously ill and she hoped that her daughter could get marry before she died, so they got married and later gave birth to 2 boys. Many years later, they got divorced and the girl knew another man. This man didn't mind about her past and decided to marry her. He didn't tell his mother that her future wife-to-be was a divorcee with 2 children. Till todate his mother still doesn't know. Though her 2 sons followed her ex-husband, but she still tried her best to support her 2 children educations until University and her present husband doesn't mind at all.
that's heartening. you have lots of stories! do you know of couples who were once together, broke up, and got back together a few years later?
Just to share one of the cases that I have come across to show that there are also man who doesn't mind a non-virgin wife.
men are programed to mind. it's an instinct. it's also natural for men to say "nevermind". just like a girl who likes you say "maybe" when you ask her out:D let us teach our daughters the right values and be wise. the stakes are high and it's certainly worth it.
really hope that the couple will live happily ever after and not let the matter be a potential flash point in the future :)
Not everybody are so smart like you and not everybody are given that type of opportunity.
If grant is meant for the needy, why grants are given to those who apply to stay near to their parents. I can say that some of them are actually very rich. The argument might be that govt hope that the children can stay near to the parents to take care of them. The real fact is will everybody take care of the parents when they stay near or they are just making use of this loop hole to earn themselves the grant?
That is only an additional of 10k which is nothing in today's property market. I guess the idea was to make it easier to take care of one another? I don't really see this additional 10k as a "loophole" for the rich. How rich is rich? this grant is limited by the 10k household income cap.
not forgetting this additional grant is for resale flats / DBSS 10k for the rich? 10k is not even enough for 1 tenth of the COVs these days.
When i just graduated, i started off with a deficit.
I had to pay back my study loan.
It was from my father's CPF.
Your parents helped you with the 2 properties?
I paid my uni fees without a study loan when I was studying part time. No my parents never paid a cent in my properties. In fact till date they still owe me lots of money invested in their business during crisis
that's heartening. you have lots of stories! do you know of couples who were once together, broke up, and got back together a few years later?
Yes, I know of a couple too. The boy broke off with his girlfriend, we even tried to introduce girls to him but not successful. After 10 yrs later, this boy met his ex-girlfriend again and then they got married. Like a drama hor.:p
That is only an additional of 10k which is nothing in today's property market. I guess the idea was to make it easier to take care of one another? I don't really see this additional 10k as a "loophole" for the rich. How rich is rich? this grant is limited by the 10k household income cap.
not forgetting this additional grant is for resale flats / DBSS 10k for the rich? 10k is not even enough for 1 tenth of the COVs these days.
Of course I'm not referring to those "very very" rich people.
Anyway, who doesn't want "free lunch"? When someone (from a trusted source) give you $10K for free when you are eligible, will you reject it and say no, I have a lot of money already. It is very natural for humans to have some greed inside our heart, whether it has more or less, it all depends on individuals, if not we won't be here today to discuss how to make more money from the ppty, rental, shares or investment. Money is always not enough, maybe not everybody will think that but at least majority of them will. If you got a lucky draw and that's a trip to Europe or some other far away countries which you wish to visit, will you reject it and say, I don't need this prize because I can afford to pay for the trip, if that's the case, in the first place, you shouldn't have joined in the lucky draw, let other people have the chance.
I paid my uni fees without a study loan when I was studying part time. No my parents never paid a cent in my properties. In fact till date they still owe me lots of money invested in their business during crisis
wow.. care to share how you got so rich so young?
too bad i pass that age leow.. :banghead: :banghead: :banghead:
bro roly maybe still can learn
Of course I'm not referring to those "very very" rich people.
Anyway, who doesn't want "free lunch"? When someone (from a trusted source) give you $10K for free when you are eligible, will you reject it and say no, I have a lot of money already. It is very natural for humans to have some greed inside our heart, whether it has more or less, it all depends on individuals, if not we won't be here today to discuss how to make more money from the ppty, rental, shares or investment. Money is always not enough, maybe not everybody will think that but at least majority of them will. If you got a lucky draw and that's a trip to Europe or some other far away countries which you wish to visit, will you reject it and say, I don't need this prize because I can afford to pay for the trip, if that's the case, in the first place, you shouldn't have joined in the lucky draw, let other people have the chance.
I don't get what's your point. We started off by saying grants were meant for the poor. You picked on the extra 10k which the govt is giving for families living near each other and felt that this 10k portion is not meant for the poor. I too agreed that in all systems there'll be loopholes.
so whats the point you're trying to make?
do away with the grants?
do away with promoting living near parents?
I don't get what's your point. We started off by saying grants were meant for the poor. You picked on the extra 10k which the govt is giving for families living near each other and felt that this 10k portion is not meant for the poor. I too agreed that in all systems there'll be loopholes.
so whats the point you're trying to make?
do away with the grants?
do away with promoting living near parents?
:tsk-tsk: :tsk-tsk: :tsk-tsk: can still carry on giving grants to those who need it but some of it must base on case by case basis like I mentioned earlier about the graduate case, need to have 1 yr continuous working experience during the time of application. I'm sure most of them will not be able to meet such a criteria if they apply immediately after their graduation and these are part of those who need help with their 1st house as a first timer. If they don't apply early, they will not be able to get their house early, so by the time they got their house, they will most likely be around 28-30 years old and it is not wise for a lady to give birth at such an older age.
I'm also very curious how you manage to own 2 ppty at such an early age, it is fantastic.
:tsk-tsk: :tsk-tsk: :tsk-tsk: can still carry on giving grants to those who need it but some of it must base on case by case basis like I mentioned earlier about the graduate case, need to have 1 yr continuous working experience during the time of application. I'm sure most of them will not be able to meet such a criteria if they apply immediately after their graduation and these are part of those who need help with their 1st house as a first timer. If they don't apply early, they will not be able to get their house early, so by the time they got their house, they will most likely be around 28-30 years old and it is not wise for a lady to give birth at such an older age.
I'm also very curious how you manage to own 2 ppty at such an early age, it is fantastic.
u all dont ask so much la. lemme just tell u ONE thing only. for what he does, he is the top notch and bestest in sg and likely even SEA.
someone else gotta say it coz if he say so himself pple will say he is conceited. hope i helped u out there priceprice...
:tsk-tsk: :tsk-tsk: :tsk-tsk: can still carry on giving grants to those who need it but some of it must base on case by case basis like I mentioned earlier about the graduate case, need to have 1 yr continuous working experience during the time of application. I'm sure most of them will not be able to meet such a criteria if they apply immediately after their graduation and these are part of those who need help with their 1st house as a first timer. If they don't apply early, they will not be able to get their house early, so by the time they got their house, they will most likely be around 28-30 years old and it is not wise for a lady to give birth at such an older age.
I'm also very curious how you manage to own 2 ppty at such an early age, it is fantastic.
with all due respect, first of all when a couple decides to buy a HDB from the BTO system, the flats are already subsidised. Hence no grants were meant for families who earns >5k household income.
2ndly, such grants which you are trying to get, I supposed you are referring to the AHG. This was made for families who need help. Typically such families are living in rented flats. Not fresh graduates.
Graduates looking to purchase their first flat; if they would really like to buy the moment they kick start their career, perhaps they could look at a standard non-matured estate 3 room flat? even the "better located" ones at $200k 10% downpayment only @ $10k each. Please also be mindful that this 20k required is not immediate upon booking.
Hence i see no reason why should fresh graduates be given grants to purchase standard HDB flats.
Grants are given for DBSS / EC applicants. Such are capped at 10/12k income.
u all dont ask so much la. lemme just tell u ONE thing only. for what he does, he is the top notch and bestest in sg and likely even SEA.
someone else gotta say it coz if he say so himself pple will say he is conceited. hope i helped u out there priceprice...
thanks bro :) not many here know me. so i appreciate that you respect my privacy
u all dont ask so much la. lemme just tell u ONE thing only. for what he does, he is the top notch and bestest in sg and likely even SEA.
.
batam/JB included? :tongue3:
gurmit would like you to respect his privacy. :tongue3: :tongue3:
with all due respect, first of all when a couple decides to buy a HDB from the BTO system, the flats are already subsidised. Hence no grants were meant for families who earns >5k household income.
2ndly, such grants which you are trying to get, I supposed you are referring to the AHG. This was made for families who need help. Typically such families are living in rented flats. Not fresh graduates.
Graduates looking to purchase their first flat; if they would really like to buy the moment they kick start their career, perhaps they could look at a standard non-matured estate 3 room flat? even the "better located" ones at $200k 10% downpayment only @ $10k each. Please also be mindful that this 20k required is not immediate upon booking.
Hence i see no reason why should fresh graduates be given grants to purchase standard HDB flats.
Grants are given for DBSS / EC applicants. Such are capped at 10/12k income.
Is Punggol considered as a non-matured estate? I supposed so, right? I have a few cases:-
1) Applicant 1 - got a BTO this year in Punggol, 1st timer, fresh graduate - grant not approved (reason: without 1 year continuous working experience at the time of application), what is the logic behind, why need 1 year continuous working experience before the grant can approve? Husband earning $2,300, wife earning $2,200, so combine income is only $4,500.
2) Applicant 2 - same location (Punggol) and not near to parents' house, husband just set up a business - grant approved with $40k
3) Applicant 3 - husband and wife combine income >$6k, bought a resale flat (Serangoon) near to the girl's parent house - grant approved $40k
:confused: :confused: :confused: :confused: :confused:
wow.. care to share how you got so rich so young?
too bad i pass that age leow.. :banghead: :banghead: :banghead:
bro roly maybe still can learn
my 300k is like peanut now.
:doh:
my 300k is like peanut now.
:doh:
no lah, not peanuts. pistacchios maybe. already better than most your age.
Is Punggol considered as a non-matured estate? I supposed so, right? I have a few cases:-
1) Applicant 1 - got a BTO this year in Punggol, 1st timer, fresh graduate - grant not approved (reason: without 1 year continuous working experience at the time of application), what is the logic behind, why need 1 year continuous working experience before the grant can approve? Husband earning $2,300, wife earning $2,200, so combine income is only $4,500.
2) Applicant 2 - same location (Punggol) and not near to parents' house, husband just set up a business - grant approved with $40k
3) Applicant 3 - husband and wife combine income >$6k, bought a resale flat (Serangoon) near to the girl's parent house - grant approved $40k
:confused: :confused: :confused: :confused: :confused:
:doh: I think you are in serious confusion about the Singapore public housing system.
Like I've already been saying, Subsidized BTO flats are already priced at a discount during launch. Hence buyers are not given grants unless you are deem to have low income. How do we determine that? The minimum working period of a year comes in. Without this rule, can you imagine Doctors and Lawyers will be able to get this grant as well? All they need to do is to quit their jobs for the month they are applying their BTO flats. Think about why was the rule made before you start complaining.
If you insist that fresh graduates should be given grants, then why not propose to the government to just pack a $30-40k ang pao upon graduating and signing on the marriage cert?
Regarding your 2nd Applicant case, what makes u think a businessman is rich? Even if he is, then they were given the grant based on the fact that a year ago before he has started his business, he and his wife were both earning <5k. Nothing wrong with that.
3rd Applicant, this is where you don't get the idea / different types of grants. the $30/$40k was given to the couple because they bought a RESALE HDB flat. This grant is given the same to EC / DBSS first time buyers. the Maximum cap is set at 10k income for 30k grant, 11k for 20k and 12k for 10k grant. Again, why is this unfair? DBSS and ECs are sold by private developers. Hence, not subsidised in their pricing. Only thing was that land was sold to developers cheaper than PCs and therefore should be priced lower.
I'll give u a 4th Applicant scenario. Wife graduated started working for a year while husband was still studying. Upon graduating, they managed to get the AHG grant but the husband was employed as an IB banker earning 12k a month. Because he just started (<1 year) this was not captured in their submitted NOAs. Is this fair? Graduates are empowered to earn easily more than 5k a month. Why again should they be given grants above their subsidiz\sed flats?
Just to share one of the cases that I have come across to show that there are also man who doesn't mind a non-virgin wife.
This girl knew the boy who was her neighbour for many years. At that time the girl was about 16 yrs old (still schooling) but the boy was already in his late 20's. One day her mother was seriously ill and she hoped that her daughter could get marry before she died, so they got married and later gave birth to 2 boys. Many years later, they got divorced and the girl knew another man. This man didn't mind about her past and decided to marry her. He didn't tell his mother that her future wife-to-be was a divorcee with 2 children. Till todate his mother still doesn't know. Though her 2 sons followed her ex-husband, but she still tried her best to support her 2 children educations until University and her present husband doesn't mind at all.
Yup, I know of a case similar to this. Husband is a Sporean and wife is a foreigner and they have 2 kids. The man's mother live with them and is often unhappy that the wife refuses to contribute to the household and children's expenses. Instead she is so generous to her nephew and niece who live overseas and never fail to remit money to them every month.
I am sure her present husband knows the truth but not the mother-in-law.
can you imagine Doctors and Lawyers will be able to get this grant as well? All they need to do is to quit their jobs for the month they are applying their BTO flats. Think about why was the rule made before you start complaining.
Do you think people will resign because of the housing grant especially the professionals?:doh:
I'm not complaining to anyone, isn't it that we are free to voice out what we think, anyway it has nothing to do with me afterall, I'm just stating the fact. Without job, the housing loan/grant is rejected, that can be accepted because HDB also scared that they cannot pay up. But since the applicants already have their jobs, it is a matter of time that they will have 1 year working experience (provided they stayed on their jobs), if they are rejected during the application because without 1 year working experience, they can always apply again before the BTO is ready, by the time, they will have 1 yr working experience already, so what's the difference? The difference could be the salary. The salary before and after 1 year could make the difference if their increment are good. Then another rule might apply to them again, combine income already >5k, so rejected (before 1 year $4700, after 1 year $5,100).
Do you think people will resign because of the housing grant especially the professionals?:doh:
fren of mine resigned in order to get a new flat from HDB. after few months break went back to work. working in big 4 accounting firm.
Nighttrain
02-12-12, 07:08
fren of mine resigned in order to get a new flat from HDB. after few months break went back to work. working in big 4 accounting firm.
My friend wife change her job from full time to part time just to get the grant after that switch back to full time again.
Wow, like that also can. Maybe they dislike their previous jobs/environment/colleagues, so they won't feel "pinch" to resign. Maybe they also feel that getting a new flat or grant is more worthwhile than their current jobs.
I also ever use this method before, :D resign from my previous accounting job in a big company which I had been there for 6 years just to join my husband during his overseas training for 2 months. I gave up my bonus and paid back the company 1 month salary in lieu of short notice and I didn't feel the pinch, why because I did not like the environment and I felt it worthwhile doing that. I had always wanted to quit but the management kept detaining me. So for this time, I used my husband overseas training as an excuse and at last they let me go. :ashamed1:
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