haha, this is another one thread
perhaps more sensitive
Let Ah Tan response first.
haha, this is another one thread
perhaps more sensitive
Let Ah Tan response first.
what if my parents are richer than me
Ride at your own risk !!!
Then they supplement you lor.Originally Posted by phantom_opera
i give them in lump sums, yearly basis
10% of my gross intake
My girl, after working for five years, hardly give me any allowance and I rather keep it this way.
To my mother and FIL, money is no longer an issue. What they want is the attention, care and time from us. My mother is 86, and FIL is 95, money is definitely not a subject issue. What is $100,000 to them at their age? meaningless to them as what they want is not money.
To me, it is the same, what I want is not money from my children, but I just want them to be happy and healthy, and give me more attention and care.
true, if not in same country, a phone call every week to show that u care .. worthless in monetary terms
Ride at your own risk !!!
If they are multi millionaire, what is $2000 of pocket money every month to them. They will tell you to keep it for your children. I believe they prefer to see your family from time to time and go out for family meal and holiday.Originally Posted by phantom_opera
I've stopped giving allowance to parents.
300 each for mother n PIL. Bring kids over to visit them every weekend n help them settle document if any .
"Anyone who has not made a mistake has never tried anything new"
You guys have rich parents that's why they don't need the money but want more attention.
But for not so rich or poor parents, they will appreciate the pocket money from their children because they need the money. Of course giving them attention is still required besides the money.
My father said as long as I don't ask him for money, can already.
never calculated before ... maybe 5%.
but then they will give ang pows to children, etc...
Your daughter may be reinvesting the money for you so she could retire early and give u the attention u seekOriginally Posted by Laguna
I guess every family differs.
I gave my parents about $800 per month excluding medical bills when they were alive.
For me, 350 each... but they have more than 500K in FD without any outstanding loan...Originally Posted by buttercarp
I think allowance is a token of appreciation... not the amount that we give and I am sure that every parent would be delighted to receive it...
However if u are not well doing and working hard to make ends meet, then your parent will understand !!!
Very well saidOriginally Posted by imjason
Agree....it's a token of appreciation !Originally Posted by imjason
My mom use to said to me and my brothers...."the money you give it to me will eventually go back to you as I will not bring it with me after RIP lo"
"Anyone who has not made a mistake has never tried anything new"
Well said! that's what my parents told me tooOriginally Posted by CondoWE
I agreed with all of you that it is not the amount but a token of appreciation. I am very happy to find out that most of the people here have such understanding parents.Originally Posted by CondoWE
i transfferd a lump sum from my CPF OA to my mothers retirement account and signed her up for CPF life...now she gets a monthly payout for life...not much couple of hundreds..but shes happy cos simple life...mostly spend $$ on transport......food and shelter provided..cos shes my Mummy...
Any amount , regardless zero or any$$, really depend on Hse hold to use hold conditions ... Really subjective ...
But visiting , calling them regularly is a must .. Be it just 1/2 hrs visit ..
My dad used to say to us.., if you have visited me 5 min , u have at least seen for 5 min..tomorrow u nay not have thus chance any more ...
My kids have grown up and has their own family ... My wife help to look aft the grand children .. So I got the chance to see them every day...
I have never give allowance, it is so unnecessary.
My parents and in-laws are contented with our presence.
This type of words from your mouth is... !Originally Posted by yowetan
"Anyone who has not made a mistake has never tried anything new"
give mother about 700-800 per month
give within your mean~
I took the road less traveled by, and that has made all the difference.” - Robert Frost quotes (American poet, 1874-1963)
another victim under yowe's hand..Originally Posted by CondoWE
I took the road less traveled by, and that has made all the difference.” - Robert Frost quotes (American poet, 1874-1963)
Now, I didn't give my parents any money because they were not around already but I give my mother-in-law $500 at the end of the year. If I buy gold chain/jade for her at the end of the yr, then I will only give her $200 as an extra.
My husband used to give his mother $1.2k /mth when his take home pay was about $6k at that time, but now take home pay drop to $3k+, so he only gives $750 /mth. When CNY is approaching, he will give $1k to his mother plus new notes ($400). We visited her every Saturday with my children.
IMHO, giving money to parents is part of the appreciation, though some parents are rich, they might not want the money but as a parents, I feel that whether you have money or not, if your children give you (more or less), just take from them, if not, next time, they may not have the habit of giving you money. My daugher and son give me and my husband $100 each though we are both still working. Their take home pay is only $1,300 (temporarily job-now go back to school) and $2,100 (just started work 3 mths ago) respectively. I took from them and save it in our joint accounts (which I open for them) and prepare to give them back when they really need it or when I'm not around.
Hi iris, I agree about the appreciation part.
My mom said the sum is not important. It is the bond that is important.
By giving, we maintain the bond.
So I give my mom monthly.
My dad said no need, so i give him ang pow for CNY and his birthday.
Ya, more or less never mind as everybody has their own commitment, especially when you have your own family with children, the most important is the heart that counts. It is also part of our responsibility, if possible, once a while bring our parents out to make them happy, treasure them when they are still around. I have no chance to do that to my own parents already, sign......Originally Posted by buttercarp
Iris sis, tks for sharing. Your last sentence really made an impact.Originally Posted by irisng
I only give my mum $600 per mth, but CNY, i will give her a bigger ang pao (depending on my bonus). I also make it a point to bring her out for a good meal every weekend. There were times i feel so lazy and was tempted to just tabao for her, but i reminded myself of what you have advised above. Do my best while I still can, dont wait till when she is no longer around.
Few mths ago, I applied leave and brought my mum to SGH for a medical appt. We were walking along a corridor on our way to the carpark when i get to recall some 20 yrs ago, we were similarly walking along the same corridor. The difference was at that time, she was the one who brought me to SGH for my medical appt instead and i was totally reliant on her as a kid. Suddenly, I realised how much she has aged. Much of her confidence has been lost, or perhaps she was nv confident but circumstances has forced her to be bold in order to protect her child then. Now, she has become increasingly dependent on me, in face of the multiple medical terms thrown to us.
But indeed, i am truely grateful that I have the opportunity to take care of my mum, something that many of my friends dont.