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Do Stay
Last week, my young undergraduate friend shared that he has made up his mind about his future. He shall complete his degree; join the civil service for a few years to make some money; pack off and migrate overseas. His reason for wanting to leave Singapore is his disappointment with the government and the people here.
Some time ago, an affluent Singaporean couple told me that their grown son is unlikely to return to Singapore after his overseas studies and exposure. His reason for wanting to leave Singapore is that the playing field of our country is too ‘small’ for him. They said that there would be insufficient space in Singapore for their child’s ambition and talent.
My uneasiness grew as I read 2 other local survey reports of persons who have or planning to migrate if given a chance.
Indeed, many Singaporeans have been educated to the extent that they do have the option to emigrate to anywhere they wish. But is there nothing worthwhile in Singapore for which we choose to stay? (新加坡难道就没有值得我们留下来的理由吗?) What will our country be if more and more of our locally born and bred choose to leave for what they believe are greener pastures overseas?
From a clinical perspective, some may think I am overly concerned. Global survey firm, Gallop, has conducted regular surveys on how countries rank on Potential Net Migration Index (PNMI). PNMI effectively measures the number of people who want to permanently move into a country versus those who wish to move out of the same country. A positive PNMI denotes that the number moving in exceeds the number moving out.
According to Gallop, Singapore is rated as one of the top attractive migration destinations in the world, together with New Zealand, Canada and Switzerland – all of whom enjoy very positive PNMIs, meaning there are more people wanting to move into Singapore than those who want to leave Singapore. On the surface, it looks as if there is no real reason for concern.
So why do I feel lousy when Singaporeans I know or don’t know choose to permanently leave our country? Why do I deeply wish especially for those who are born and bred in Singapore to remain and construct a better future together with the rest of us who are staying?
My reasons are both sentimental and pragmatic. I will dearly miss those whom I know - like the young people I early shared with you about. But I am also reluctant to live in an environment characterised by a heavy traffic of immigrants and emigrants.
There is one additional personal reason – I could have been one of those Singaporeans who left Singapore permanently 15 years ago. I am now glad I did not.
15 years ago, I was devastated to discover that my young autistic son was not going to grow and develop normally like other children. I was even more devastated that my own country, Singapore, whilst boasting excellence in many things, did not pay much attention to this group of children and the adults they grow into.
The temptation to migrate was strong because my husband is an Australian University graduate. Had we migrated then, we would not only enjoy a social support network there but also a good education for my son there. As it turned out, we chose to stay on to see if we can make a difference, both for my son and many others like him.
Today, with the support of many advocates, volunteers and government, the amount of attention and financial and education support to this special community in Singapore has way surpassed the sad state of affairs 15 years ago.
Just this month, MOE has announced another slew of goodies such as new curriculum resources and $4.5million of fund to specially enhance computer education for special-needs students. Things may still not be perfect but because we stayed, my family has the privilege of witnessing ‘sea changes’ in the special-needs community in Singapore. I am glad I stayed.
The Our Singapore Conversations (OSG) that are now on-going amongst thousands of Singaporeans have revealed several common themes in terms of their Aspirations and their Angsts. These will be consolidated and reported in a few months’ time.
But one of the most significant questions that is posed to participants of OSG was “What can I do personally to help create the Singapore I wish to see?”
This question reminds me fondly of what one of my mentors, Dr Stephen Covey, taught me many years ago.
Dr Covey is the author of The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, which has sold more than 25 million copies worldwide. Dr Covey spoke of the importance of clearly defining our :
• Circle of Concern in which are things over which we are unhappy about but have absolutely no control; and
• Circle of Influence in which are things we can do something about to make a difference to the situation.
The key to a more fruitful life, Covey said, is not to stay focusing on concerns, leading to the enlargement of our circle of concern. The key is to actively seek out and work on things that we can do something about, no matter how small they seem at first. This way, each of us can stop feeding and growing our circle of concern and start enlarging our circle of influence in life.
There are so many people who have successfully done that :
• Anne Sullivan, a visually-impaired orphan, fought to attend school and eventually became the lifelong teacher of Hellen Keller, a famous talented mute writer
• Nancy Elliot, the mother of renowned scientist Thomas Edison, overcome the pain of having her son rejected by school and home-schooled Edison herself
• John Newton, a former slave-trader turned priest, became the key advisor of William Wilberforce, a British Member of Parliament who successfully led a national campaign to abolish the slave trade in England in 1807
Anne Sullivan, Nancy Elliot and John Newton chose not to focus only on their concerns. They became the wind beneath the wings of success of their charges, even though not many have heard of them.
I encourage those of us who think Singapore is not good enough, to not give up on our country too easily. 请别轻易离开.
By all means, let's identify our concerns but let's also consider working at enlarging our circle of influence and help make Singapore one of the best homes ever.
Denise Phua Lay Peng My Paper Column 6 Nov 2012
潘丽萍/ 摩绵加冷集选区议员/萍良心说/(我报)隔周二刊登
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Originally Posted by ikan bilis
sleepy sleep 
