attributes of wife / husband to be????

**Laguna** · 27-10-12, 15:54

It is time for me to be serious in talking to my two children about their spouse to be...

love
caring
money
education...

and they are love blind....

PN · 27-10-12, 15:56

Originally Posted by Laguna

It is time for me to be serious in talking to my two children about their spouse to be...

love
caring
money
education...

and they are love blind....

What about age?

**buttercarp** · 27-10-12, 16:25

Good and healthy genes.......

**zzz1** · 27-10-12, 16:40

Originally Posted by Laguna

It is time for me to be serious in talking to my two children about their spouse to be...

love
caring
money
education...

and they are love blind....

In today's Context, is something that we can wish but literally nothing we can do about..
The kids have their life to live and we mingled too much , they only fall short to say hands off...

**radha08** · 27-10-12, 16:41

Originally Posted by PN

What about age?

what about SEX....

calling carbuncle...please provide more feedback...

**zzz1** · 27-10-12, 16:44

Originally Posted by radha08

what about SEX....

calling carbuncle...please provide more feedback...

You mean to teach the old folk?

**Sleepyhead** · 27-10-12, 16:48

Have you ever thought of how to react if your son/daughter tells you he/she is gay?

**carbuncle** · 27-10-12, 17:04

Originally Posted by radha08

what about SEX....

calling carbuncle...please provide more feedback...

Me?????? Very simple.

A GOOD HEART

All the rest like money... Looks....body....sex.... Entertainment.... I can self provide.

My one and only advice to youngsters out there, dont jump in to a relationship until you are totally independent and self fulfilled. If you are looking for someone else to fill whatever gap you have, you will never find true love.

**chestnut** · 27-10-12, 17:17

Wah, this one cheem. So u found not only love but 'true love'.
So say, you drowning in ocean, he don't know how to swim, he still jump in to be with you, machiam Lomeo and Wholiet?

Originally Posted by carbuncle

Me?????? Very simple.

A GOOD HEART

All the rest like money... Looks....body....sex.... Entertainment.... I can self provide.

My one and only advice to youngsters out there, dont jump in to a relationship until you are totally independent and self fulfilled. If you are looking for someone else to fill whatever gap you have, you will never find true love.

**moneytalk** · 27-10-12, 17:17

Originally Posted by carbuncle

Me?????? Very simple.

A GOOD HEART

All the rest like money... Looks....body....sex.... Entertainment.... I can self provide.

My one and only advice to youngsters out there, dont jump in to a relationship until you are totally independent and self fulfilled. If you are looking for someone else to fill whatever gap you have, you will never find true love.

Ya, good character is the most important and the couple has to be compatible.

**carbuncle** · 27-10-12, 17:22

Originally Posted by chestnut

Wah, this one cheem. So u found not only love but 'true love'.
So say, you drowning in ocean, he don't know how to swim, he still jump in to be with you, machiam Lomeo and Wholiet?

No. Thats just plain stupidity. He should be shouting for help and trying to find any flotation device to throw over.

**chestnut** · 27-10-12, 17:26

Originally Posted by carbuncle

No. Thats just plain stupidity. He should be shouting for help and trying to find any flotation device to throw over.

Asuming both of u decide to do something stupid like take sampan (spur of the moment - hypo case) and no float.

Or say, u cross road and suddenly a car dash towards u because it lost control, will he push u away and take the hit, or he will let you kanna then shout for help? Or he want to kanna together with u? 3 options. Which 1 u think he take. Then which one u take?

Just curious.

**roly8** · 27-10-12, 17:31

Originally Posted by carbuncle

Me?????? Very simple.

A GOOD HEART

All the rest like money... Looks....body....sex.... Entertainment.... I can self provide.

My one and only advice to youngsters out there, dont jump in to a relationship until you are totally independent and self fulfilled. If you are looking for someone else to fill whatever gap you have, you will never find true love.

A+ advice!!! will keep this noted!

Originally Posted by moneytalk

Ya, good character is the most important and the couple has to be compatible.

yea!

no matter what kind of rich background or how good looking the person got...

**radha08** · 27-10-12, 18:02

Originally Posted by carbuncle

Me?????? Very simple.

A GOOD HEART

All the rest like money... Looks....body....sex.... Entertainment.... I can self provide.

My one and only advice to youngsters out there, dont jump in to a relationship until you are totally independent and self fulfilled. If you are looking for someone else to fill whatever gap you have, you will never find true love.

...good honest opinion...

**phantom_opera** · 27-10-12, 19:06

as long as is not this guy

**ClemenceLY** · 27-10-12, 19:14

Instead of listing what are the must haves, one should also consider what are the must NOT haves (gambling, smoking, bad temper....).

Love is blind and it is the head vs the heart.

Sometimes we only understand our spouse better after married ! The rest is tolerance out of love for each other. And especially family with kids, the last thing to happen is to have single parent kids....

**radha08** · 27-10-12, 19:39

my 2

.... a happy and lasting marriage/family is to me the MOST important thing in life....after watching this video of the late dr richard teo..RIP.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=umLkfADe17s

**zzz1** · 27-10-12, 19:45

Originally Posted by Sleepyhead

Have you ever thought of how to react if your son/daughter tells you he/she is gay?

One thing for sure .. the parent heart and face will be shattered..

**ommmm** · 27-10-12, 20:42

assuming no bad habit, etc.. observe if the pair is in a more or less balanced relationship, or one party is self-sacrificing. latter will not last, or may have to go through some life lessons to make or break..

**mantrix** · 27-10-12, 22:28

a GOOD HEART....and also a GOOD class bungalow

**zeamybro** · 27-10-12, 22:55

One that takes good care of his/her parents and also respect your parents, is likely to be a good spouse

**radha08** · 27-10-12, 23:30

Originally Posted by mantrix

a GOOD HEART....and also a GOOD class bungalow

normally these two dont come together....

**moneytalk** · 28-10-12, 13:23

Originally Posted by Sleepyhead

Have you ever thought of how to react if your son/daughter tells you he/she is gay?

Parents of gay children are normally not taken by surprise when the child comes out of the closet.
Parents normally know intuitively that something is wrong but hoping against hope that they be proven wrong.

**Sleepyhead** · 28-10-12, 13:28

Originally Posted by moneytalk

Parents of gay children are normally not taken by surprise when the child comes out of the closet.
Parents normally know intuitively that something is wrong but hoping against hope that they be proven wrong.

So as parents, what should they do? Just accept? And support? Or try to change them?

**yowetan** · 28-10-12, 13:40

Compatible couple does not equal to compatible in-laws and vice versa.

It's the newer generation life and they live for themselves. I do not tell them how to live as each individual lives differently.

Attributes can be fake and falsified.

**irisng** · 28-10-12, 13:50

When I was single, I had set my mind for my future husband:-
1) No smoking
2) No gambling
3) No flirting
4) No beating of wife
5) Character also very important
6) Must be a responsible guy
7) He needs not be rich but must be willing to work and take care of the family.
8) Education must be at least same as me or equivalent.
(No 1-4 must hint to him before courtship, then observe him during courtship)

If during courtship, find that he is not suitable, it is better to break it earlier than to be regret later. If not what is courtship for, it is for you to know each other better and to judge whether he is suitable for you or not. That's my

. 爱不是施舍. But you want to choose people, people also wants to choose you lor.

Such criteria is 可遇不可求. So far, mine still okay, "my hiam buoy pie" (in hokkien).

**irisng** · 28-10-12, 14:01

Originally Posted by yowetan

Compatible couple does not equal to compatible in-laws and vice versa.

It's the newer generation life and they live for themselves. I do not tell them how to live as each individual lives differently.

Attributes can be fake and falsified.

Marriage is not just concern about 2 people only, there are also their immediate family like father and mother, sisters and brothers. So if possible, try to accomodate both sides and as a parents, try not to interfere too much of your children's marriage life, they will want to have their 二人世界. For me, if possible, I will not stay with them if they are marriage, if they can visit me once a week, I am already very contented. I want to have my own time also, haha.

**moneytalk** · 28-10-12, 14:12

"But you want to choose people, people also wants to choose you lor.

"

That's right. My great grandma used to tell me a phrase in hokkien. It's like "birds of a feather flock together.
So, before you can find a good partner, you must work on yourself and try to be a better person.

**yowetan** · 28-10-12, 14:19

Originally Posted by irisng

Marriage is not just concern about 2 people only, there are also their immediate family like father and mother, sisters and brothers. So if possible, try to accomodate both sides and as a parents, try not to interfere too much of your children's marriage life, they will want to have their 二人世界. For me, if possible, I will not stay with them if they are marriage, if they can visit me once a week, I am already very contented. I want to have my own time also, haha.

I concur with you.

Love and relationship is something which has no model answer.

It varies and works differently for each individual.

I can and will only offer my point of view if my sons consult me. It is their own responsibility to find the other half, and it is again their responsibility to shoulder the consequences if they happen to find a lousy one. Even if they are con or duped - it is their consequence and they should be mature enough to recover from the ground.

I cannot dictate and tell them what I feel and like. It is their life.

I will give when they ask. I will not give if they do not ask.

They have to work on it themselves afterall.

**irisng** · 28-10-12, 14:23

Originally Posted by moneytalk

"But you want to choose people, people also wants to choose you lor.

"

That's right. My great grandma used to tell me a phrase in hokkien. It's like "birds of a feather flock together.
So, before you can find a good partner, you must work on yourself and try to be a better person.

Agree, but sometimes 人以人之间也要靠缘分的.

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