Sunday is a day of rest. Time to tell some jokes
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Two career drunks were in the mood for some liquid holiday cheer
one Saturday night, so they went to the package store to get some
cheap booze.
In the store, the first drunk pulled the change out of his pocket.
"I have 87 cents," he said. "How much do you have?"
"I have a dollar," his friend answered.
"$1.87?" the first questioned. "What can we get for $1.87?"
His friend spotted a big Italian Sausage on the rack for $1.80.
"I have an idea," he said. "We'll buy that sausage over there and
put it in my pants. We'll go into a bar and order drinks. After
the drinks are gone, I'll pull out the sausage and you start
licking it. The bartender will be so disgusted he'll kick us out
of the bar and we won't have to pay!"
"Yeah, let's do it!" the second replied.
They buy the sausage and head off to a bar. They walk in and order
two beers and drink them down. When they're gone, the first whips
out the sausage and the second starts licking it.
He then really gets into it by wrapping his entire mouth around it.
"What the hell are you doing? Get out of my bar!" the bartender
barks at them, and the two run out laughing.
"That was great, and it didn't cost us a cent!" the second says.
"Let's do it again!"
So off they run to another bar for a repeat performance.
Then another bar.
Then another.
This continues through the night.
At the end of the night, after about the 20th bar, the second
drunk says, "Man, what a great night! All this drinking is making
me hungry. Hey, pull out that sausage and let's eat it."
"Uh, so sorry..." his friend stammered, "I was hungry so I ate the
sausage about nine bars ago!"