mr funny
06-07-07, 07:15
Published July 6, 2007
Every property agent has his day
By JAIME EE
MORNING. Wake up. Brush teeth. Practise saying, 'Sorry, we already have an offer, but if you're keen you can try and offer more' in as convincing a tone as possible. Or, if it's a very rushed day, shorten it to 'Your offer too low'.
Get dressed, go and take quick look at car - a nice new BMW financed with commissions from selling high-floor HDB flats with a view of the sea. This is not to be confused with apartments that are 'facing sea', because in this case there might be several housing estates between said apartment and actual sea. Even so, it is not wrong to advertise it as 'facing sea' because it is technically correct. But never mind. Take good look at BMW and allow yourself a well deserved smirk of satisfaction.
OK, start working. Phone starts to ring, mostly from potential buyers whose reaction to your asking prices ranges from 'How much did you say?', 'Ha?' or 'Are you crazy?!' in various languages or dialects. Ordinarily, you would embark on your smooth sales talk: 'It's facing the sea. It's only just renovated last year. The owners already have many offers so if you're keen you just have to join the queue.' Alternatively, if a successful deal was closed yesterday, there is no need to engage in smooth sales talk and a simple 'take it or leave it' will do.
Finally, one buyer says 'OK' and wants to view the place. Immediately, your suspicions arise. Is that a serious buyer or another agent trying to muscle in on your deal? Weigh the pros and cons and decide to take the safe option by not giving the caller the actual address. Instead, tell him to meet you at the nearest petrol station.
On second thoughts, play it safe and arrange to meet him in Ang Mo Kio before driving to the actual location in Tiong Bahru. During the ride, it becomes increasingly clear that the guy is a rival. No problem. You bring him to another block, give him a fake unit number and tell him to go and see the owner first while you park the car. Then you go to the real location and gloat.
Phone rings. No, it's not the guy you left at the wrong address. It's another potential buyer. Talk to him for a while and it turns out to be another agent who wants to be your co-broker. You tell him to keep his paws off in no uncertain terms. You hang up and daydream about the new sports rims you are thinking of getting for your new BMW.
Spend the afternoon dealing with unrealistic clients. Try to convince owner of fourth-floor flat in Jurong West that there is no way that having a canal in front qualifies as a waterfront view. After that, try to explain to another potential seller that being located within walking distance of a highly rated prawn noodle stall is no reason to ask for $250,000 above valuation. Remind yourself that this is why you prefer to deal with prime district properties, where all you have to say is 'District 9,10,11, near IR and Sentosa' to get clients to pull out their cheque books.
Finally, at the end of the day, you go home, park your BMW and enter your newly renovated home - another day, another one per cent downpayment cheque. Yes. Life is good for the Singapore property agent. Now, to go get those new sports rims.
Every property agent has his day
By JAIME EE
MORNING. Wake up. Brush teeth. Practise saying, 'Sorry, we already have an offer, but if you're keen you can try and offer more' in as convincing a tone as possible. Or, if it's a very rushed day, shorten it to 'Your offer too low'.
Get dressed, go and take quick look at car - a nice new BMW financed with commissions from selling high-floor HDB flats with a view of the sea. This is not to be confused with apartments that are 'facing sea', because in this case there might be several housing estates between said apartment and actual sea. Even so, it is not wrong to advertise it as 'facing sea' because it is technically correct. But never mind. Take good look at BMW and allow yourself a well deserved smirk of satisfaction.
OK, start working. Phone starts to ring, mostly from potential buyers whose reaction to your asking prices ranges from 'How much did you say?', 'Ha?' or 'Are you crazy?!' in various languages or dialects. Ordinarily, you would embark on your smooth sales talk: 'It's facing the sea. It's only just renovated last year. The owners already have many offers so if you're keen you just have to join the queue.' Alternatively, if a successful deal was closed yesterday, there is no need to engage in smooth sales talk and a simple 'take it or leave it' will do.
Finally, one buyer says 'OK' and wants to view the place. Immediately, your suspicions arise. Is that a serious buyer or another agent trying to muscle in on your deal? Weigh the pros and cons and decide to take the safe option by not giving the caller the actual address. Instead, tell him to meet you at the nearest petrol station.
On second thoughts, play it safe and arrange to meet him in Ang Mo Kio before driving to the actual location in Tiong Bahru. During the ride, it becomes increasingly clear that the guy is a rival. No problem. You bring him to another block, give him a fake unit number and tell him to go and see the owner first while you park the car. Then you go to the real location and gloat.
Phone rings. No, it's not the guy you left at the wrong address. It's another potential buyer. Talk to him for a while and it turns out to be another agent who wants to be your co-broker. You tell him to keep his paws off in no uncertain terms. You hang up and daydream about the new sports rims you are thinking of getting for your new BMW.
Spend the afternoon dealing with unrealistic clients. Try to convince owner of fourth-floor flat in Jurong West that there is no way that having a canal in front qualifies as a waterfront view. After that, try to explain to another potential seller that being located within walking distance of a highly rated prawn noodle stall is no reason to ask for $250,000 above valuation. Remind yourself that this is why you prefer to deal with prime district properties, where all you have to say is 'District 9,10,11, near IR and Sentosa' to get clients to pull out their cheque books.
Finally, at the end of the day, you go home, park your BMW and enter your newly renovated home - another day, another one per cent downpayment cheque. Yes. Life is good for the Singapore property agent. Now, to go get those new sports rims.