View Full Version : Runaway brides
Not only the family and groom got shame and hurt. Also end up with debts.
Why can't breakup early? Why must wait until close to wedding day to declare to the whole world? :doh:
http://sg.entertainment.yahoo.com/blogs/singapore-showbiz/runaway-brides-singapore-janice-story-part-1-035439074.html
http://sg.entertainment.yahoo.com/blogs/singapore-showbiz/runaway-brides-singapore-picking-pieces-part-two-104152986.html
i have mention in one of my post in 2012..
the sg govt is pushing the wrong value to these young couple with 'fear'
fear such as BTO, expensive flat etc.
:o
no matter how fast & far you run, you are still running within govt's "buddha" palm..
:D
Do it the mafia style... "An Offer You Can't Refuse":spliff2:
poor young people ...
http://l3.yimg.com/bt/api/res/1.2/TKfZlnhYQuEV0FTBz5mJJw--/YXBwaWQ9eW5ld3M7cT04NTt3PTYzMA--/http://media.zenfs.com/en-SG/blogs/singaporeshowbiz/630coldfeet.jpg
Wild Falcon
04-01-13, 12:56
SG government always die die encourage people to get married early or else cannot have children. See what happens? Frankly, I think the having deformed kids after 35 years old fear mongering is not going work. SG government should stop using fear mongering to force people to get married.
this is a consequence of the modern age and highly economic society.
to quote brother blackjack21 - GUNIANGS ah!!
buttercarp
04-01-13, 13:17
I think the pressure is in the celebration part.
That's why I prefer to just ROM.
After ROM, stay together, then if not happy then just annul marriage or divorce or whatever.
Later after both parties are sure of each other, then hold a celebration to introduce each other to the relatives.
I think the pressure is in the celebration part.
That's why I prefer to just ROM.
After ROM, stay together, then if not happy then just annul marriage or divorce or whatever.
Later after both parties are sure of each other, then hold a celebration to introduce each other to the relatives.
Why not同居for first 2 years, if happy then ROM follow by marriage lo..D :D :D !
Feel sorry for these ladies....
But i do know of some lady friends who belong to the other extreme end of the spectrum. They actually called the shots and took charge of most of their wedding arrangements ie. bridal photo shoots, wedding invitations, gifts preparation etc. But they are more matured in their late 20s or early 30s.
Feel sorry for these ladies....
But i do know of some lady friends who belong to the other extreme end of the spectrum. They actually called the shots and took charge of most of their wedding arrangements ie. bridal photo shoots, wedding invitations, gifts preparation etc. But they are more matured in their late 20s or early 30s.
actually it's not so much the calling of the shots. in fact in most weddings, ladies do handle quite alot of these things. ironically, because you are so busy in the lead-up to the actual day, you never really stop to think. by the time you stop (and think it through), it is just days from the big day.
it also depends on the mindset of the couple when they first got together. those who have multiple courtships will just quickly get into the next courtship and eventually, when age catches up, you just decide to settle down. that is when you dunno if this is the right one.
those who have only 1 or 2 courtships.. tend to be more serious abt the relship. most likely they have no doubts their SO is THE one. so no U-turn there.
Why not同居for first 2 years, if happy then ROM follow by marriage lo..D :D :D !Cohabitting will also invite loads of gossips from people around. :(
Sg ladies are not marriage materials. If I we're single again I will marry m'sian, indonesian or australian chinese.
actually it's not so much the calling of the shots. in fact in most weddings, ladies do handle quite alot of these things. ironically, because you are so busy in the lead-up to the actual day, you never really stop to think. by the time you stop (and think it through), it is just days from the big day.
it also depends on the mindset of the couple when they first got together. those who have multiple courtships will just quickly get into the next courtship and eventually, when age catches up, you just decide to settle down. that is when you dunno if this is the right one.
those who have only 1 or 2 courtships.. tend to be more serious abt the relship. most likely they have no doubts their SO is THE one. so no U-turn there.
When i said those lady friends of mine called the shots, it means they were already very ready for the marriage (at least this applies to my friends). But sad to say, I already have 3 pairs of friends who have divorced before hitting 35.
So the "old old" generation are the most faithful group. Most of them married without knowing each other, only on the wedding night, then they got to see each other and during that time divorce rate was low;) . Now youngsters are given the freedom to choose their own partners, and yet so many divorce cases.:(
Got the house, just ROM to "satisfy" the HDB requirement. Not necessary must stay together. When ready to settle down or save enough money, then go through custom wedding loh. Westernise thinking : once ROM, is considered married, so stay together, no problem. Traditional thinking : ROM is to secure your title and to be recognised by the govt. Without going through custom wedding and stay together, in the eyes of some people, it is cohabited and is not a married couple staying together. Singapore is still quite a conservative country. that's my :2cents: .
Sg ladies are not marriage materials. If I we're single again I will marry m'sian, indonesian or australian chinese.
hmm.....
u know singaporean marry foreigner and have your foreign wife/husband be citizen is harder now?
:(
buttercarp
04-01-13, 20:27
Why not同居for first 2 years, if happy then ROM follow by marriage lo..D :D :D !
Co habitation may not be for every women because women need some form of status. So ROM can provide some security.
Sg ladies are not marriage materials. If I we're single again I will marry m'sian, indonesian or australian chinese.
There is a higher chance that SG women will continue to work after marriage and share the financial burden.
Co habitation may not be for every women because women need some form of status. So ROM can provide some security.
There is a higher chance that SG women will continue to work after marriage and share the financial burden.
Yes, but there is also a higher chance that she can't cook.
buttercarp
04-01-13, 21:09
Yes, but there is also a higher chance that she can't cook.
Just buy a recipe book and instruct the domestic helper to follow it.
If I can earn more money by working, I would rather employ someone and train her to prepare the meal, than prepare it myself.
Yes, but there is also a higher chance that she can't cook.
lol~
with this kind of high cost of living, most of the couple must be working..
Just buy a recipe book and instruct the domestic helper to follow it.
If I can earn more money by working, I would rather employ someone and train her to prepare the meal, than prepare it myself.
I used to have 4 maids when my son was a baby. Now I have 2. (In jkt no sg) Running a house is one of the most difficult job in the world. 3 meals a day, dry clean clothes, 2x floor cleaning daily, sending kids to school and tuition, not to mention when kids are sick. I will fail miserably should I become a house husband.
buttercarp
04-01-13, 21:41
I used to have 4 maids when my son was a baby. Now I have 2. (In jkt no sg) Running a house is one of the most difficult job in the world. 3 meals a day, dry clean clothes, 2x floor cleaning daily, sending kids to school and tuition, not to mention when kids are sick. I will fail miserably should I become a house husband.
Yup, I agree with you that coordinating house hold chores is a big headache, especially if you have more than 1 domestic helpers.
That's why a man needs a wife to coordinate these things.
If the wife is able to work as well as ensure the smooth running of the household, the husband will then be able to work in peace and return home everyday to a scrumptious dinner, a happy family and a well groomed wife.
How typical: ungrateful Singaporeans blaming the government :doh:
why die die must brand new flat. buy a resale flat when they're ready to settle down lor.
or wait till their late 20s, then apply for flat lah.
weak willed, indecisive and want to shift the blame on peer pressure?? do they still think they are teenagers going on a steady relationship?
Yup, I agree with you that coordinating house hold chores is a big headache, especially if you have more than 1 domestic helpers.
That's why a man needs a wife to coordinate these things.
If the wife is able to work as well as ensure the smooth running of the household, the husband will then be able to work in peace and return home everyday to a scrumptious dinner, a happy family and a well groomed wife.
The challenge comes when the maids started fighting, and both come to you crying that they wanna quit....
i have mention in one of my post in 2012..
the sg govt is pushing the wrong value to these young couple with 'fear'
fear such as BTO, expensive flat etc.
:o
no matter how fast & far you run, you are still running within govt's "buddha" palm..
:D
Do it the mafia style... "An Offer You Can't Refuse":spliff2:
poor young people ...
http://l3.yimg.com/bt/api/res/1.2/TKfZlnhYQuEV0FTBz5mJJw--/YXBwaWQ9eW5ld3M7cT04NTt3PTYzMA--/http://media.zenfs.com/en-SG/blogs/singaporeshowbiz/630coldfeet.jpg
Wats that got to do with government? Since when Government encourage people will listen?
Its all the young generation these days with the live for the moment and a disposal generation where everything is use n throw.
So are the ways they treat marriage too.
This is cause by kiasuisum. If not there wont be a a perceived great shortage too people all KS rush to book. then blame the system when things dont work out.
This is cause by kiasuisum. If not there wont be a a perceived great shortage too people all KS rush to book. then blame the system when things dont work out. Exactly. Look at number of people blindly jumping to buy property these days. Missed boat earlier but still jumping in blindly. Very soon somebody will be left buying at peak before prices go down-down-down :doh:
Yup, I agree with you that coordinating house hold chores is a big headache, especially if you have more than 1 domestic helpers.
That's why a man needs a wife to coordinate these things.
If the wife is able to work as well as ensure the smooth running of the household, the husband will then be able to work in peace and return home everyday to a scrumptious dinner, a happy family and a well groomed wife.So if a woman is earning more than the man at the time of marriage, should she continue to work after the kids arrive while the man stay home to be a well groomed man??? :rolleyes:
Exactly. Look at number of people blindly jumping to buy property these days. Missed boat earlier but still jumping in blindly. Very soon somebody will be left buying at peak before prices go down-down-down :doh:Isn't this the property cycle? Coming soon??? :rolleyes:
buttercarp
05-01-13, 06:58
So if a woman is earning more than the man at the time of marriage, should she continue to work after the kids arrive while the man stay home to be a well groomed man??? :rolleyes:
If both are earning good salaries I don't see why should the husband quit.
However one party shld have flexible worki ng hours in order to tend to family matters.
Man no need to be that well groomed.
As long as got money can already:) .
Man no need to be that well groomed.
As long as got money can already:) .
I had many rounds of talk with my girl on this subject over last 3 years, as to what sort of man should be her Mr Right. And after reading this book, she has decided...money is not the first....
Marry Him: The Case for Settling for Mr. Good Enough Lori Gottlieb (http://www.amazon.com/Lori-Gottlieb/e/B001IOBJ66/ref=ntt_athr_dp_pel_1/185-3108651-2638009)
priority is the character & mindset of the other half..
this 'janice' got a broken mindset..
the bond between janice & ken is so weak despite 9 years of relationship..:o
This is cause by kiasuisum. If not there wont be a a perceived great shortage too people all KS rush to book. then blame the system when things dont work out.
indeed. :o
If both are earning good salaries I don't see why should the husband quit.
However one party shld have flexible worki ng hours in order to tend to family matters.
Man no need to be that well groomed.
As long as got money can already:) .Actually my stay home wife looking after the kids hardly have time to groom herself... Lol... even our common friend commented that she looked washed out. I had to return from work to look after the kids while she go out to doll herself, pedi, mani, hair, facial, etc... :doh:
Actually my stay home wife looking after the kids hardly have time to groom herself... Lol... even our common friend commented that she looked washed out. I had to return from work to look after the kids while she go out to doll herself, pedi, mani, hair, facial, etc... :doh:
your wife is "huang lian po" ..
you must pamper her for the hard work contribute by her...
taking care of these kids really drain off one energy..:o
buttercarp
05-01-13, 12:58
Actually my stay home wife looking after the kids hardly have time to groom herself... Lol... even our common friend commented that she looked washed out. I had to return from work to look after the kids while she go out to doll herself, pedi, mani, hair, facial, etc... :doh:
Actually, grooming does not need be expensive or time consuming.
It is a good habit that a lady should inculcate in her daily regime.
Eating the right types of food and drinking lots of fluids also help.
I have some friends who looked very good when they were young. After marriage, they became so contented and comfortable that they just could not be bothered with their appearances and hence their looks deteriorated, which is a pity, especially if their husbands were first attracted to their looks.
If both are earning good salaries I don't see why should the husband quit.
However one party shld have flexible worki ng hours in order to tend to family matters.
Man no need to be that well groomed.
As long as got money can already:) .
Wah... so practical one ah...
Actually, grooming does not need be expensive or time consuming.
It is a good habit that a lady should inculcate in her daily regime.
Eating the right types of food and drinking lots of fluids also help.
I have some friends who looked very good when they were young. After marriage, they became so contented and comfortable that they just could not be bothered with their appearances and hence their looks deteriorated, which is a pity, especially if their husbands were first attracted to their looks.
Its all in the genes....
You can't groom away 20kg of fat and cellulite in your ass and thighs.
buttercarp
05-01-13, 13:16
Its all in the genes....
You can't groom away 20kg of fat and cellulite in your ass and thighs.
LOL..... don't accumulate that in the first place!
If accumlated, try to get rid of it gradually.
Think of it as love for your spouse and family.
Afterall being overweight is unhealthy and being healthy (if nature permits) is being responsible to the family.
LOL..... don't accumulate that in the first place!
If accumlated, try to get rid of it gradually.
Think of it as love for your spouse and family.
Afterall being overweight is unhealthy and being healthy (if nature permits) is being responsible to the family.
That's where the genes come in. Some of us are just blessed that way.
It is therefore important to meet the parents of your prospective spouse to have an idea of the gene pool. It is a fairly good indication of what the picture will likely be in the road ahead.
LOL..... don't accumulate that in the first place!
If accumlated, try to get rid of it gradually.
Think of it as love for your spouse and family.
Afterall being overweight is unhealthy and being healthy (if nature permits) is being responsible to the family.
Some women are not overweight, in fact they are skinny on the other parts of their body.
Somehow, the fat just gravitates to the bum and thighs.
I have some friends who looked very good when they were young. After marriage, they became so contented and comfortable that they just could not be bothered with their appearances and hence their looks deteriorated, which is a pity, especially if their husbands were first attracted to their looks.
Wow, I think I must be one of them. Few months back, met my ex-classmates, she still looks so young as before and so sexy but me, sign.... don't need to say lah. She asked me, last time your complextion was so nice, why now like that, another sign....... :scared-3:
During our conversation, I came to know that she is staying with her in-law and has a maid. She needs not do any household except on weekend, she packs her room only. She never spend much on cosmetics, what she needs is only a normal day cream/sunscreen and a night cream before she goes to sleep. She works half day and the other half day, she goes window shopping and when times up, she goes home for dinner. Children already grown up and is studying overseas.
If after so many years of marriage, husband still cares so much on his wife "look", then that's not true love. If both husband and wife are working, then I think husband should also help up with some of the housework and help to take care of their young children too, cannot leave everything to his wife. Both should help each other to improve their relationship further.
I have a friend who is about 47 yrs old, just divorce and married a China girl, about 27 yrs old. Another of his friend told me that, his ex-wife is no longer young and not pretty already, so I asked him one question," If his current wife grow older next time, is it that he is going to change another wife again?":cool:
" If his current wife grow older next time, is it that he is going to change another wife again?":cool:
I don't think he can see his new wife growing old as she will leave him before that happens. Ha ha ha :D
hmm.....
u know singaporean marry foreigner and have your foreign wife/husband be citizen is harder now?
:(
it depends which country. and also wat education. if angmo from decent country and background, you think difficult?
sorry, no proof on this. but i know garmen not stupid. hahaha
Fear BTO? May be you propose with a private condo to their sole name & fully paid up to them they will have no more "fear"? :p
i have mention in one of my post in 2012..
the sg govt is pushing the wrong value to these young couple with 'fear'
fear such as BTO, expensive flat etc.
:o
no matter how fast & far you run, you are still running within govt's "buddha" palm..
:D
Do it the mafia style... "An Offer You Can't Refuse":spliff2:
poor young people ...
http://l3.yimg.com/bt/api/res/1.2/TKfZlnhYQuEV0FTBz5mJJw--/YXBwaWQ9eW5ld3M7cT04NTt3PTYzMA--/http://media.zenfs.com/en-SG/blogs/singaporeshowbiz/630coldfeet.jpg
That girl who made the post is not ready for marriage.
buttercarp
06-01-13, 00:47
That girl who made the post is not ready for marriage.
Actually I pity the younger generation.
What she worries is true.
What if they breakup during the MOP .
Last time it was a small amount, now it is so substantial.
Nobody can be sure that a marriage would last.
I am quite sure some of us had cold feet just before marriage.
I don't think life is any tougher for the younger generation than it was for my parents' generation. There is much more freedom and choices now. People who make the wrong choices will complain how tough life is. E.g. many young people spend on cars, expensive watches and bags. "Saving for a rainy day" is long-forgotten phrase. Many also don't want to work hard - it's partly the government's fault for promoting work-life balance. When the time comes for retrenchment, of course they are afraid because they have done nothing to enhance their professional value and have not made significant contribution to the company.
On the other hand, those who start saving from the day they earn their first pay check now own their own properties and live comfortably (they are not extravagant). Even if they get retrenched, they have enough savings to tide them over till they get their next job.
they could wait till late 20s then settle down. they need to have some savings in the first place. no point rushing.
look at the way young pple Q up for the newest phone launch you know already... altho' living standards are indeed higher, there are some expenses that can be saved but not saved.
i always wait for new launch, then buy the outdated phone. like S3 come out, i will wait for S2 price drop then i buy S2. dun see the need to chase technology.
Fear BTO? May be you propose with a private condo to their sole name & fully paid up to them they will have no more "fear"? :p
well said.....yes i think the girl's reaction will be different if the proposal come with posh private property
well said.....yes i think the girl's reaction will be different if the proposal come with posh private property
then, wouldn't the girl be marrying for the wrong reasons?
That girl who made the post is not ready for marriage.
totally agree. if any party isn't ready, then never say propose or say "yes" to the proposal.
had a friend who's fiancee dumped him the night before the wedding dinner, citing that she isn't ready for the plunge. I was like?!??!??! if not ready, why lead the guy on the long path? both were mature adults, dated a number of years, went through church wedding counselling, etc etc.
things never patched back and they broke up shortly after. guess what? the girl dated a church dancer couple of months later. till this day, i still call her a 'bitch'
iwantgizmos
08-01-13, 12:57
then, wouldn't the girl be marrying for the wrong reasons?
haiz. there are many more ppl (both men & women) like this than you think...
generation Y these days are all so materialistic.
well; such is life... what can we do....
haiz. there are many more ppl (both men & women) like this than you think...
generation Y these days are all so materialistic.
well; such is life... what can we do....
when i was growing up, the mantra was all about chasing the 5Cs. hence, i don't think my generation is any less materialistic than those of today.
that aside, i think it's down to maturity and poor or stupid decision making, rather than the pursuit of material well-being. a material girl can chase the bogettas, ferragamos, etc etc, in whatever way she wants and yet have the maturity of mind to decide whether she wants to get married or not.
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