View Full Version : How to be happier in life.
Point no.10 is interesting.
http://news.asiaone.com/News/Latest%2BNews/Singapore/Story/A1Story20121231-392626.html
http://news.asiaone.com/A1MEDIA/news/12Dec12/images/20121231.174105_dec3112_happy_tommykoh_text.jpg
The results of the recent Gallup poll, as well as other surveys, seem to indicate that Singaporeans are an unhappy people. This surprises me because, objectively, we should be a happy people.
I consider myself a happy person. I would therefore like to share with my fellow Singaporeans 10 rules which may help to make them a more happy people.
RULE NO. 1
Be a positive, optimistic and kind person.
Whether you are a happy or unhappy person depends largely on yourself.
Negative and pessimistic people are generally unhappy people. Be kind to others. Kindness begets kindness. Try to do a good deed every day.
You will find that by brightening the lives of others, you will brighten your own life.
RULE NO. 2
Have a happy family.
Be good to your parents. If they are elderly and living by themselves, try to visit them at least once a week and share a weekly meal with them. One of the problems encountered by our older folks is loneliness.
Be on excellent terms with your spouse. Whenever I am asked to speak at wedding dinners, I always advise the groom to do three things: Be faithful to his wife, treat her as if they were still courting and give her all his money. The last advice does not apply in cases where the wife is a spender and not a saver.
As for how to behave towards one's children, I have always liked the advice given by Kahlil Gibran: "And though they are with you yet they belong not to you. You may give them your love but not your thoughts. For they have their own thoughts."
If you are lucky enough to have grandchildren, love them with all your heart.
RULE NO. 3
Find a job you enjoy doing.
I think one of the reasons so many Singaporeans are unhappy is that they do not like their jobs. Since we spend so much of our lives at work, it is important to find a job which is not a chore to endure but a pleasure to do.
In recent years, I have noticed a trend of many Singaporeans leaving their jobs for other jobs which pay them less but give them greater satisfaction. This is a good thing.
RULE NO. 4
Treasure your friends.
In your life journey, you will make many friends - at school, at university, in sports or other activities and at work. I hope you will develop a small circle of very good friends, friends who will stand by you in good times and bad times.
RULE NO. 5
Exercise regularly.
My wife and I try to swim every day. Exercise not only makes you healthier, it also makes you feel better. Therefore, make regular exercise a part of your lifestyle.
You can't be a happy person if you are not in good health.
RULE NO. 6
Enjoy eating but eat healthily and avoid the sin of gluttony.
Singapore is a culinary paradise. Food is abundant, diverse and affordable.
You can eat well on any budget. Let us enjoy our food but let us also exercise some discipline when choosing what to eat. I have always tried to follow the ancient Asian wisdom of stopping when I feel 80 per cent full.
RULE NO. 7
Be a volunteer and support philanthropy.
I once heard a speech by Mrs Barbara Bush, the wife of the 41st President of the United States. She said there was a period in her life when she suffered from depression. Instead of seeing a psychiatrist or taking medication to overcome her depression, she decided to be a volunteer. She found that by helping others less fortunate than herself, her depression gradually disappeared.
Whether we are rich or poor, we should contribute to a cause or causes close to our hearts. In spite of our favourable tax regime and the presence of many wealthy people in our society, I was very disappointed to see how lowly Singapore ranked in the table of countries for philanthropy.
A wise man once said that no man could be truly happy if he lives only for himself.
RULE NO. 8
Read books and listen to music.
Reading is an excellent habit. Books keep me company when I am alone. Books transport me to another country, another culture, another time and into the lives of other people. Reading is an endless source of happiness.
So is music. I listen to music every day. I thank 92.4 FM for bringing me so much joy every day.
RULE NO. 9
Take pleasure in the little things in life.
My wife and I love our regular walks in the Botanic Gardens. I love to watch the sunset.
I find joy in meeting an old friend, attending a concert at the Esplanade and visiting a wonderful exhibition at one of our museums.
Most of all, I enjoy being with my grandson.
RULE NO. 10
Don't envy others.
I received this good advice from a wise man, Dr Wee Kim Wee, our sixth President.
Dr Wee once told me that one of the reasons which caused people to be unhappy was that they were envious of others. Dr Wee said he never envied his friends who had a better education or earned more money or lived in bigger houses or owned more expensive cars.
His rule was to be contented with what he had. I think this is a good rule.
Philosophically, it would be even better if you could feel vicariously happy when you see your friends and former students doing well in life.
Professor Tommy Koh is Ambassador-at-Large with the Ministry of Foreign Affairs, Singapore.
I bet tremeritus bunch of people will do a point by point rebuttal.
Allthepies
01-01-13, 19:30
I bet tremeritus bunch of people will do a point by point rebuttal.
The people there have negative energy and attitude, avoid them at all cost if you want to be happy :D :D :D :D
This forum makes me happy. I can express my thought freely on the topics that my wife couldn't understand.
This forum makes me happy. I can express my thought freely on the topics that my wife couldn't understand.
lol~!!
lady might be into other girl stuff..
which guy don't like..
:D
All that can be summed up in a phrase I recently heard:"不要执着"。
That is the crux where greed, envy, desire, all arises. And those buckets have holes in them. No matter how much you fill the buckets, it will never be full. hence you will never be truly happy.
This forum makes me happy. I can express my thought freely on the topics that my wife couldn't understand.
Same same :cheers4:
Allthepies
01-01-13, 20:21
If you convert point 10 negative thought of Envy into positive thought Inspire, you will be much happier and maybe more successful.
phantom_opera
01-01-13, 21:41
All that can be summed up in a phrase I recently heard:"不要执着"。
That is the crux where greed, envy, desire, all arises. And those buckets have holes in them. No matter how much you fill the buckets, it will never be full. hence you will never be truly happy.
执着 "不要执着" is itself problematic :rolleyes:
执着 "不要执着" is itself problematic :rolleyes:
problematic?
phantom_opera
01-01-13, 21:56
At the start of the new millennium the Dalai Lama issued eighteen rules for living.
1. Take into account that great love and great achievements involve great risk.
2. When you lose, don't lose the lesson.
3. Follow the three Rs: 1. Respect for self 2. Respect for others 3. Responsibility for all your actions.
4. Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck.
5. Learn the rules so you know how to break them properly.
6. Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship.
7. When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.
8. Spend some time alone every day.
9. Open your arms to change, but don't let go of your values.
10. Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.
11. Live a good, honourable life. Then when you get older and think back, you'll be able to enjoy it a second time.
12. A loving atmosphere in your home is the foundation for your life.
13. In disagreements with loved ones, deal only with the current situation. Don't bring up the past.
14. Share your knowledge. It's a way to achieve immortality.
15. Be gentle with the earth.
16. Once a year, go someplace you've never been before.
17. Remember that the best relationship is one in which your love for each other exceeds your need for each other.
18. Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it.
rymccondo77
01-01-13, 23:17
Learn to be contented with what you have.
stop dwelling and start living!
At the start of the new millennium the Dalai Lama issued eighteen rules for living.
1. Take into account that great love and great achievements involve great risk.
2. When you lose, don't lose the lesson.
3. Follow the three Rs: 1. Respect for self 2. Respect for others 3. Responsibility for all your actions.
4. Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck.
5. Learn the rules so you know how to break them properly.
6. Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship.
7. When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.
8. Spend some time alone every day.
9. Open your arms to change, but don't let go of your values.
10. Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.
11. Live a good, honourable life. Then when you get older and think back, you'll be able to enjoy it a second time.
12. A loving atmosphere in your home is the foundation for your life.
13. In disagreements with loved ones, deal only with the current situation. Don't bring up the past.
14. Share your knowledge. It's a way to achieve immortality.
15. Be gentle with the earth.
16. Once a year, go someplace you've never been before.
17. Remember that the best relationship is one in which your love for each other exceeds your need for each other.
18. Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it.
Well said phantom! :cheers4:
Testing my first attachment.
Testing my first attachment.
Good summary. Successful attachment. :)
Will need to reflect on the Dalai Lama's wise rules of living.
Testing my first attachment.
wa..this one like typed back in the 1950s..
nice and simple!:D
At the start of the new millennium the Dalai Lama issued eighteen rules for living.
1. Take into account that great love and great achievements involve great risk.
2. When you lose, don't lose the lesson.
3. Follow the three Rs: 1. Respect for self 2. Respect for others 3. Responsibility for all your actions.
4. Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck.
5. Learn the rules so you know how to break them properly.
6. Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship.
7. When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.
8. Spend some time alone every day.
9. Open your arms to change, but don't let go of your values.
10. Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.
11. Live a good, honourable life. Then when you get older and think back, you'll be able to enjoy it a second time.
12. A loving atmosphere in your home is the foundation for your life.
13. In disagreements with loved ones, deal only with the current situation. Don't bring up the past.
14. Share your knowledge. It's a way to achieve immortality.
15. Be gentle with the earth.
16. Once a year, go someplace you've never been before.
17. Remember that the best relationship is one in which your love for each other exceeds your need for each other.
18. Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it.
good points!
At the start of the new millennium the Dalai Lama issued eighteen rules for living.
1. Take into account that great love and great achievements involve great risk.
2. When you lose, don't lose the lesson.
3. Follow the three Rs: 1. Respect for self 2. Respect for others 3. Responsibility for all your actions.
4. Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck.
5. Learn the rules so you know how to break them properly.
6. Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship.
7. When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.
8. Spend some time alone every day.
9. Open your arms to change, but don't let go of your values.
10. Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.
11. Live a good, honourable life. Then when you get older and think back, you'll be able to enjoy it a second time.
12. A loving atmosphere in your home is the foundation for your life.
13. In disagreements with loved ones, deal only with the current situation. Don't bring up the past.
14. Share your knowledge. It's a way to achieve immortality.
15. Be gentle with the earth.
16. Once a year, go someplace you've never been before.
17. Remember that the best relationship is one in which your love for each other exceeds your need for each other.
18. Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it.
does Dalai Lama live by these rules?
and if yes, does he make up these rules to suit his lifestyle so that it appears that he is living by these rules?
if he is not living by these rules, then....
phantom_opera
02-01-13, 08:53
does Dalai Lama live by these rules?
and if yes, does he make up these rules to suit his lifestyle so that it appears that he is living by these rules?
if he is not living by these rules, then....
does it matter? certain rules may be useful only to certain group of people, if it is not useful to u just forget it, pick up other rules that will make you happy
phantom_opera
02-01-13, 09:03
伦敦 LONDON: 牛津大学研究发现，如果幼儿从3个月起，父亲能够多多陪伴，会让孩子的行为控制能力更强，攻击性、叛逆性、好动性、反社会等不良行为将大大减少。
研究也指出，父亲的这种行为对儿子比对女儿的影响更大。专家认为，这可能与男孩在幼年时期更容易感知到父亲的影响有关
does it matter? certain rules may be useful only to certain group of people, if it is not useful to u just forget it, pick up other rules that will make you happy
why would anybody want to listen to a hypocrite? he was top of the food chain before chinese takeover of tibet.
i am biased towards the chinese version of what's life in tibet before chinese takeover,( not that it justified the takeover. )
To be able to be YOURSELF
"Success is getting what you want,
Happiness is wanting what you get."
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