View Full Version : How to TEST you and your spouse/GF..compatible
Do this simple TEST decide to do major reno to your house ...then GO down to Soon Bee Huat(Tiles supplier)at EUNOS next to the mosque opposite the famous yong tau foo shop...to choose the tile s for your whole house(Kitchen/bathroom/hall/bedroom)...:D
If you can do it in 30mins...NO quarrel--IDEAL couple
30mins-1hr...bit quarrel...OK i guess...
More than 1 hr with major argument..you got problems...
HAHAHA..yesterday me and my wife went there to choose tiles for our upcoming reno.....so many couples there haha so funny some argue some squabble...haha..oh by the way i took 30min to 1hr...:D:D:D:D
buttercarp
10-08-12, 17:46
I can do it all in less than 30 min.
So far all the reno, decision to buy house and car all like take few minutes only ;) .
Not like my parents time...... i remember always got some kind of war.
Then we chewren so scared at that time.
Do this simple TEST decide to do major reno to your house ...then GO down to Soon Bee Huat(Tiles supplier)at EUNOS next to the mosque opposite the famous yong tau foo shop...to choose the tile s for your whole house(Kitchen/bathroom/hall/bedroom)...:D
If you can do it in 30mins...NO quarrel--IDEAL couple
30mins-1hr...bit quarrel...OK i guess...
More than 1 hr with major argument..you got problems...
HAHAHA..yesterday me and my wife went there to choose tiles for our upcoming reno.....so many couples there haha so funny some argue some squabble...haha..oh by the way i took 30min to 1hr...:D:D:D:D
hahahaha. My wife and i most compatible because i ask her to stay home while i decide the reno, ID and furniture. Sometimes she has her opinion but i over-ride her. How to over-ride her? I pay for all expenses and a bag of her choice (no Birkin). :D
Sad to say, mine is pure War.
ha ha keep it coming....next time i ever do this i got to bring a leash for my WIFE...:D:D:D....even after we walk out and choose the tiles...she wanted to go back in...NOT sure bout kitchen floor tiles...:doh:..colour
My first reno need to loan from SAF. 6 x the salary = $6,600. Don't need to bring wife, she leave everything to me, 0 min.
phantom_opera
10-08-12, 18:25
all i can say is if you plan for own stay, buy the most ex furniture u can afford, it will last
my wife bought a Unicane sofa 12y ago, still like new today
buttercarp
10-08-12, 18:56
all i can say is if you plan for own stay, buy the most ex furniture u can afford, it will last
my wife bought a Unicane sofa 12y ago, still like new today
Agree with you.
Mine is a leather sofa of 10 years.
If not for my previous maid who used some detergent and spoiled it, it would probably look new too.
If you close your eyes and sit on it, you won't know it is old cos the sponge inside is still as firm, and of course no cockroaches like radha's rented!
buttercarp
10-08-12, 18:58
hahahaha. My wife and i most compatible because i ask her to stay home while i decide the reno, ID and furniture. Sometimes she has her opinion but i over-ride her. How to over-ride her? I pay for all expenses and a bag of her choice (no Birkin). :D
Hey..... you just gave me an idea......:D
I should not agree so easily, then I may get a bag too :) .
Agree with you.
Mine is a leather sofa of 10 years.
If not for my previous maid who used some detergent and spoiled it, it would probably look new too.
If you close your eyes and sit on it, you won't know it is old cos the sponge inside is still as firm, and of course no cockroaches like radha's rented!
Used to have cane sofa... Nice and cooling .... Except that the gaps collect alot of dust...
ha ha keep it coming....next time i ever do this i got to bring a leash for my WIFE...:D:D:D....even after we walk out and choose the tiles...she wanted to go back in...NOT sure bout kitchen floor tiles...:doh:..colour
Terra-cotta tiles are nice and good. It has it own colour and evey tiles has diff cavitures and grain pattern...Cheaper then marble, granite and just abit more ex then homogen tiles..
Unfortunately, if have to wait till "choosing tile for renovation" stage to determine suitability of spouse then its too late liao.....:o
Agree with you.
Mine is a leather sofa of 10 years.
If not for my previous maid who used some detergent and spoiled it, it would probably look new too.
If you close your eyes and sit on it, you won't know it is old cos the sponge inside is still as firm, and of course no cockroaches like radha's rented!
hai yo dont remind me i told my wife she almost collapsed cos she HATES those creepy crawlies...:D
Unfortunately, if have to wait till "choosing tile for renovation" stage to determine suitability of spouse then its too late liao.....:o
JUST trying my best to corelate my daily experiences with the PROPERTY market and MARRIAGE...forgive me if i failed....:o
I am nobody to judge... apologies if I sounded judgemental
Anyway, the problem with many marriages is that we tend to ignore signs of incompatibility during the courtship stage. Somewhere down the line with kids in tow and major financial commitments that are too deep to back out, many realise some incompatibilty issues just cannot be resolved.
A major incompatibility alarm bell are views on parents/parents-in-law... ie. living arrangements, subsistence allowance, visits....etc. Many go into a marriage believing that the proverbial boat will straighten when it reaches the bridge.... it usually doesn't. It remains a thorny issue...
Just my 2 cents...
JUST trying my best to corelate my daily experiences with the PROPERTY market and MARRIAGE...forgive me if i failed....:o
buttercarp
10-08-12, 23:45
I am nobody to judge... apologies if I sounded judgemental
Anyway, the problem with many marriages is that we tend to ignore signs of incompatibility during the courtship stage. Somewhere down the line with kids in tow and major financial commitments that are too deep to back out, many realise some incompatibilty issues just cannot be resolved.
A major incompatibility alarm bell are views on parents/parents-in-law... ie. living arrangements, subsistence allowance, visits....etc. Many go into a marriage believing that the proverbial boat will straighten when it reaches the bridge.... it usually doesn't. It remains a thorny issue...
Just my 2 cents...
For a lasting marriage.....
First and foremost, there should not be any interference from both sides parents.
Therefore, it would be good that grandparents remain as emergency care givers rather than main caregiver.
Secondly, the union should not be subjected to tradition eg celebrate wedding, invite every single relative etc. It should be done out of their free will.
Thirdly, there should not be emphasis on face issue.
Eg if the spouse is not in the mood to visit the other spouse's family or attend gathering, he or she should not be pressurized to do so.
Fourthly, the decision on how to bring up the kids should be unanimous, but if not, then let one party make the major decision.
Fifthly, when buying a shared property, each side must take the cue from the other party. If one likes it very much and if it is within their budget , the other should try and find reasons to like it as well.
These are some golden rules to a lasting marriage.
And for this reason, Yowetan (if his stories are true) has something admirable... the harmony in his family almost seems too good and incredible to be believed.
For example..there won't be any fights between husband and wife over whose parents' house to go for reunion dinner during CNY since they are all living together.
I am nobody to judge... apologies if I sounded judgemental
Anyway, the problem with many marriages is that we tend to ignore signs of incompatibility during the courtship stage. Somewhere down the line with kids in tow and major financial commitments that are too deep to back out, many realise some incompatibilty issues just cannot be resolved.
A major incompatibility alarm bell are views on parents/parents-in-law... ie. living arrangements, subsistence allowance, visits....etc. Many go into a marriage believing that the proverbial boat will straighten when it reaches the bridge.... it usually doesn't. It remains a thorny issue...
Just my 2 cents...
buttercarp
10-08-12, 23:55
And for this reason, Yowetan (if his stories are true) has something admirable... the harmony in his family almost seems too good and incredible to be believed.
For example..there won't be any fights between husband and wife over whose parents' house to go for reunion dinner during CNY since they are all living together.
Yowetan has a hold on everyone under his roof, including his adopted brother in law, which is amazing.
Maybe he knows how to charm them, like he charmed all of us into discussing his controversial lifestyle.
For me, I take a few hours with my wife to source tile, furniture,....when 2 yrs ago Reno time. Some occassion, we did went to the shop again once or twice to confirm our star buy.
I felt that it's one of the way to bonding our relationship instead of compatibility test.
Due to the reno, We got more time to communicate to each other to learn more about each other, in return we love each other more n more each day pass by....lol!
My wife alway said she is not greedy....50yrs unchangeable love is sufficient but alway re-fresh from 0 so 50yrs will never come..:banghead: !
My wife decides on colour and design. I decide on type like marble, homo, etc and size. Unless its super loud or weird, there shouldn't be any problem. I got a yellow car because my wife liked that colour but I did the math plus chose the car model. No quarrel lah... :cheers2:
My wife decides on colour and design. I decide on type like marble, homo, etc and size. Unless its super loud or weird, there shouldn't be any problem. I got a yellow car because my wife liked that colour but I did the math plus chose the car model. No quarrel lah... :cheers2:
only yellow car i can think off is suzuki swift sports...or mitsubishi evolution...or honda integra....or porsche....or lamborghini......:D:D:D
which is urs...
For a lasting marriage.....
First and foremost, there should not be any interference from both sides parents.
Therefore, it would be good that grandparents remain as emergency care givers rather than main caregiver.
Secondly, the union should not be subjected to tradition eg celebrate wedding, invite every single relative etc. It should be done out of their free will.
Thirdly, there should not be emphasis on face issue.
Eg if the spouse is not in the mood to visit the other spouse's family or attend gathering, he or she should not be pressurized to do so.
Fourthly, the decision on how to bring up the kids should be unanimous, but if not, then let one party make the major decision.
Fifthly, when buying a shared property, each side must take the cue from the other party. If one likes it very much and if it is within their budget , the other should try and find reasons to like it as well.
These are some golden rules to a lasting marriage.
my 2 cents after 10 years marriage when it comes to topic of in-laws between you and your spouse....it is VERY Sensitive issue
"Hear NO evil See No evil...Do no evil"...help you god....:D
@buttercarp my parents failed on all counts. :(
thats why now in their 70s they still quarrel every day, often over minute matters.
That is the Asian culture... many choose to hang on to an incompatible marriage for fear of the social stigma of a divorce (amongst other practical reasons... Asians also a very practical lot)... in the west many would have divorced long ago.
@buttercarp my parents failed on all counts. :(
thats why now in their 70s they still quarrel every day, often over minute matters.
That is the Asian culture... many choose to hang on to an incompatible marriage for fear of the social stigma of a divorce (amongst other practical reasons... Asians also a very practical lot)... in the west many would have divorced long ago.
in the west they call marriage Hire and Fire....:D
I am nobody to judge... apologies if I sounded judgemental
Anyway, the problem with many marriages is that we tend to ignore signs of incompatibility during the courtship stage. Somewhere down the line with kids in tow and major financial commitments that are too deep to back out, many realise some incompatibilty issues just cannot be resolved.
A major incompatibility alarm bell are views on parents/parents-in-law... ie. living arrangements, subsistence allowance, visits....etc. Many go into a marriage believing that the proverbial boat will straighten when it reaches the bridge.... it usually doesn't. It remains a thorny issue...
Just my 2 cents...
I fully agree with the above. I have ended many a relationships over issues such as:
money
career
hygiene
sex
social life
temperament
aircon usage
(I'm not kidding about the last)
People may see me as heartless. I just see myself as refuse to compromise. Do agree nobody is perfect on this point, and compromise is always necessary - but the question is, how much are you willing to tolerate? If even before you co-habitat, such issues already arise and neither party is willing to work towards a solution or compromise, what's the point of carrying on? Does one seriously think it will get better if you 'get married'??
I seriously doubt so.
Therein lies the reason why so many families are unhappy as a result of mismatches - and the unhappiness permeates throughout the entire house and lives of loved ones surrounding them.
My wife normally spend hours there, I will rush in and just spend 10 minutes, mainly to sign the cards.
Thanks,
Richard
PS. She was trained for design and architect.
My wife normally spend hours there, I will rush in and just spend 10 minutes, mainly to sign the cards.
Thanks,
Richard
PS. She was trained for design and architect.
and u were trained in....FINANCE....:D:D:D
I fully agree with the above. I have ended many a relationships over issues such as:
money
career
hygiene
sex
social life
temperament
aircon usage
(I'm not kidding about the last)
People may see me as heartless. I just see myself as refuse to compromise. Do agree nobody is perfect on this point, and compromise is always necessary - but the question is, how much are you willing to tolerate? If even before you co-habitat, such issues already arise and neither party is willing to work towards a solution or compromise, what's the point of carrying on? Does one seriously think it will get better if you 'get married'??
I seriously doubt so.
Therein lies the reason why so many families are unhappy as a result of mismatches - and the unhappiness permeates throughout the entire house and lives of loved ones surrounding them.
SEX....:D:D:D
two strangers agree to give everything to the other...it's a miracle ! treasure it!:D
two strangers agree to give everything to the other...it's a miracle ! treasure it!:D
Sounds to me much higher risk than buying MM in suburban areas today hoping for capital gain.
two strangers agree to give everything to the other...it's a miracle ! treasure it!:D
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Unconditional_love
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Altruism
Hrmmm...:47:
So true ...nobody to blame but ourselves. :beats-me-man:
So what's the solution?
All I can do is to advise the kids...hope they don't follow in their parents fool-hardy steps...:eek:
Anyway, the problem with many marriages is that we tend to ignore signs of incompatibility during the courtship stage.
Just my 2 cents...
Unfortunately, it is a human weakness.
So true ...nobody to blame but ourselves. :beats-me-man:
So what's the solution?
All I can do is to advise the kids...hope they don't follow in their parents fool-hardy steps...:eek:
And for this reason, Yowetan (if his stories are true) has something admirable... the harmony in his family almost seems too good and incredible to be believed.
For example..there won't be any fights between husband and wife over whose parents' house to go for reunion dinner during CNY since they are all living together.
hahaha every CNY gives me a liitle headache/anger in regards to hosting of reunion dinner...no choice but must learn to move on..
Do this simple TEST decide to do major reno to your house ...then GO down to Soon Bee Huat(Tiles supplier)at EUNOS next to the mosque opposite the famous yong tau foo shop...to choose the tile s for your whole house(Kitchen/bathroom/hall/bedroom)...:D
If you can do it in 30mins...NO quarrel--IDEAL couple
30mins-1hr...bit quarrel...OK i guess...
More than 1 hr with major argument..you got problems...
HAHAHA..yesterday me and my wife went there to choose tiles for our upcoming reno.....so many couples there haha so funny some argue some squabble...haha..oh by the way i took 30min to 1hr...:D:D:D:D
Haha, my husband always say "up to you, up to you." :D :D He is very "qin-chai.:sleep:
The lesson I learnt from marriage is to just give way and don't argue with the wife, my life is much more peaceful this way. I let my wife decide on all these renovation stuff so she is happy, and if she does not like the renovation later on, she cannot blame me. So either way, I win.
Haha, my husband always say "up to you, up to you." :D :D He is very "qin-chai.:sleep:
Wow, "up to you" is my favorite phrase to my wife. Great minds think alike. :D
you;re fortunate that the wife takes control and decides.
some want control but cannot pull the trigger. Then when someone else decides, vetos the decision cos not really what she wants.
The lesson I learnt from marriage is to just give way and don't argue with the wife, my life is much more peaceful this way. I let my wife decide on all these renovation stuff so she is happy, and if she does not like the renovation later on, she cannot blame me. So either way, I win.
Hahaha... this reminds me of my neighbour... also very "chin chai".. wife made all the decisions on renovation. Everthing also "ok,ok". When it came to the kitchen, wife decided not to make a "wet" kitchen"...
After renovations completed, the kitchen was smoking out the whole house for half the year (depending on monsoon season). Wife now blame the husband for not insisting on a "wet" kitchen....
Depending on the wife, some men can never win...
The lesson I learnt from marriage is to just give way and don't argue with the wife, my life is much more peaceful this way. I let my wife decide on all these renovation stuff so she is happy, and if she does not like the renovation later on, she cannot blame me. So either way, I win.
Over-reaching ...
Hahaha... this reminds me of my neighbour... also very "chin chai".. wife made all the decisions on renovation. Everthing also "ok,ok". When it came to the kitchen, wife decided not to make a "wet" kitchen"...
After renovations completed, the kitchen was smoking out the whole house for half the year (depending on monsoon season). Wife now blame the husband for not insisting on a "wet" kitchen....
Depending on the wife, some men can never win...
The lesson I learnt from marriage is to just give way and don't argue with the wife, my life is much more peaceful this way. I let my wife decide on all these renovation stuff so she is happy, and if she does not like the renovation later on, she cannot blame me. So either way, I win.
Haha, same leh, I will always seek my husband's opinion first, and he will tell me, you like it will do, no problem for him but if something pop up or not up to the standard, he will tell me his actual thinking, then I will ask him, aiyah why didn't you tell me earlier (not blame hor) haha:D , and then after that we will just let this matter pass. :sleep:
My philosophy is small thing let wife decide but big thing I take charge..:D !
Eg...buy car, property, share, bond..etc :cheers5:
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