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irisng
11-09-11, 14:56
How do you rate a person who likes to indirectly criticise you in front of your friends / relatives but when nobody is around, this person will talk to you nicely and courteously.

sh
11-09-11, 15:16
How do you rate a person who likes to indirectly criticise you in front of your friends / relatives but when nobody is around, this person will talk to you nicely and courteously.

Actually this person is better than a person who talks to you nicely and courteously in front of your friends / relatives but when nobody is around, indirectly criticise you.:D

howgozit
11-09-11, 15:29
How do you rate a person who likes to indirectly criticise you in front of your friends / relatives but when nobody is around, this person will talk to you nicely and courteously.

You mean how would I rate a property agent?

irisng
11-09-11, 15:30
Actually this person is better than a person who talks to you nicely and courteously in front of your friends / relatives but when nobody is around, indirectly criticise you.:D

Don't you think that this person is trying to make you loose face in front of your friends/relatives maybe out of some jealousy that you are well taken care/respect by your friends/relatives. Occassionally, she will mention that “一样是人,但是命不一样.":tsk-tsk:

irisng
11-09-11, 15:34
You mean how would I rate a property agent?

Property agents are business minded people. A true friend is one who helps and listens to your sorrow and not add fire into it.

irisng
11-09-11, 16:02
How about a wife who always scold her husband in front of his relatives & children but when nobody is around, never want to talk to him.

DC33_2008
11-09-11, 17:21
Don't you think that this person is trying to make you loose face in front of your friends/relatives maybe out of some jealousy that you are well taken care/respect by your friends/relatives. Occassionally, she will mention that “一样是人,但是命不一样.":tsk-tsk:
Nothing to says. Juzt ignore znd stay zway fm them. This is negative people which is no good for me.

buttercarp
11-09-11, 22:05
Nothing to says. Juzt ignore znd stay zway fm them. This is negative people which is no good for me.

Yup agree with u.

According to desiderata :

Avoid loud and aggressive persons;
they are vexatious to the spirit.

ysyap
11-09-11, 22:27
How do you rate a person who likes to indirectly criticise you in front of your friends / relatives but when nobody is around, this person will talk to you nicely and courteously.Depending can this person be avoided. If can, like a distant friend or relative whom I'll meet only once a year, I'll simply ignore it and try not to cross path. However, if this person cannot be avoid, like direct family member or even spouse, then I'll speak to this person in a non confrontational way to clarify and put a stop to such negative vibes. Then again if its a colleague, I may well tell another colleague to speak to him/her on my behalf coz still have to work together and things can get really ugly if mishandled! :D

irisng
12-09-11, 09:31
Depending can this person be avoided. If can, like a distant friend or relative whom I'll meet only once a year, I'll simply ignore it and try not to cross path. However, if this person cannot be avoid, like direct family member or even spouse, then I'll speak to this person in a non confrontational way to clarify and put a stop to such negative vibes. Then again if its a colleague, I may well tell another colleague to speak to him/her on my behalf coz still have to work together and things can get really ugly if mishandled! :D

Yup, I think this type of people should less associate with but if it is a very close relative who will meet whenever there is a gathering, then no choice, try to talk lesser to her. During gathering, if she asked you to do something but not up to her expectation, she will sure to have something to comment, like "off course lah, got people to serve you loh". She is very good at looking at people's faces and situation, sometimes when she knew
that you are angry, she will try to divert the topic and say something else to please you. :doh:

DC33_2008
12-09-11, 09:55
Got a relative who always like to show-off. Bring whatever e-gadgets that are popular at that time. Blackberry, Iphone, Ipad, etc. Told me Audi is the best car in Euro becos they are driving audi. I have stayed away from them during gathering. Not sure why must they brag? They will probably drive me to all their houses for a tour if they have bought a few.:doh:

devilplate
12-09-11, 09:57
Got a relative who always like to show-off. Bring whatever e-gadgets that are popular at that time. Blackberry, Iphone, Ipad, etc. Told me Audi is the best car in Euro becos they are driving audi. I have stayed away from them during gathering. Not sure why must they brag? They will probably drive me to all their houses for a tour if they have bought a few.:doh:

tot its vy common for ppl to bring along ipad, iphone wif them? so common and how to show off? bot new cars mabe la or mabe luxury watches/branded bags

DC33_2008
12-09-11, 10:10
Exactly what you have just said: branded bags, watches, brand clothes of which their children are wearing, etc. They will stand in the most prominent in the house with the ipad and display it. Probably waiting for people to ask: Oh! You have an Ipad!
tot its vy common for ppl to bring along ipad, iphone wif them? so common and how to show off? bot new cars mabe la or mabe luxury watches/branded bags

devilplate
12-09-11, 10:36
Exactly what you have just said: branded bags, watches, brand clothes of which their children are wearing, etc. They will stand in the most prominent in the house with the ipad and display it. Probably waiting for people to ask: Oh! You have an Ipad!

tot tats the whole idea of buying branded stuff rite? quality isnt any better(mostly made in china or other 3rd world countries nowadays) LOL

gers like to carry branded handbags.....some wif big big brand name on the bag! hehehe

irisng
12-09-11, 13:33
tot tats the whole idea of buying branded stuff rite? quality isnt any better(mostly made in china or other 3rd world countries nowadays) LOL

gers like to carry branded handbags.....some wif big big brand name on the bag! hehehe

I'm different, I like to keep myself low profile. I don't go for branded stuff because I personally feel that as long as it can be used or comfortable to wear, it should be ok. Advantages of buying non-branded stuff are that they are cheap and if spoil or don't like it, you throw away, you don't feel the pinch because it is not expensive.:ashamed1:

irisng
12-09-11, 13:39
Exactly what you have just said: branded bags, watches, brand clothes of which their children are wearing, etc. They will stand in the most prominent in the house with the ipad and display it. Probably waiting for people to ask: Oh! You have an Ipad!

When I see people having the branded bags, watches, clothes, I don't bother to go and ask, maybe just say, hmm.. quite nice er.:D

ysyap
12-09-11, 14:12
Yup, I think this type of people should less associate with but if it is a very close relative who will meet whenever there is a gathering, then no choice, try to talk lesser to her. During gathering, if she asked you to do something but not up to her expectation, she will sure to have something to comment, like "off course lah, got people to serve you loh". She is very good at looking at people's faces and situation, sometimes when she knew
that you are angry, she will try to divert the topic and say something else to please you. :doh:Some useful guidelines

1. Do not initiate conversation with her
2. Try to look busy when she's approaching, like deep in thoughts if no one is around for you to pretend you are in conversation with.
3. Avoid eye contact w her.
4. Don't even sit near to her... best separate table if possible. Otherwise, when she's eating, you don't eat first. Wait till she's done then you go and have your meal.
5. If possible, stagger the time you arrive at big functions. If you can know her time of arrival, you plan something so that you genuinely arrive late so can minimize time together! But of course not at the expense of precious time with other relatives! :D

ysyap
12-09-11, 14:15
When I see people having the branded bags, watches, clothes, I don't bother to go and ask, maybe just say, hmm.. quite nice er.:DI play reverse psychology. When I know people are trying to get attention for their new ipad, iphone5, etc., I will deliberately not even talk about it, as if not noticing it. :spliff: I'm evil!

DC33_2008
12-09-11, 14:25
People arrived at the level of being rich does not need to show people they are there. People who are getting there have to show that they are there. :)
I'm different, I like to keep myself low profile. I don't go for branded stuff because I personally feel that as long as it can be used or comfortable to wear, it should be ok. Advantages of buying non-branded stuff are that they are cheap and if spoil or don't like it, you throw away, you don't feel the pinch because it is not expensive.:ashamed1:

ysyap
12-09-11, 14:41
Sometimes I feel that buying a branded car is more of a showoff than buying a condo or landed!

Well I will not volunteer an information like I just bought a new car or a new condo/house. Usually my parent/kids will take care of that! I'll just acknowledge when asked by my relatives! LOL!

iwantgizmos
12-09-11, 15:29
Sometimes I feel that buying a branded car is more of a showoff than buying a condo or landed!

Well I will not volunteer an information like I just bought a new car or a new condo/house. Usually my parent/kids will take care of that! I'll just acknowledge when asked by my relatives! LOL!
yea... we just act cool and nod when they ask... :)

wenqing
12-09-11, 17:12
Actually this person is better than a person who talks to you nicely and courteously in front of your friends / relatives but when nobody is around, indirectly criticise you.:D

Sounds very much like the love-hate relationship between PAP and Singaporeans.

Oops, I am the old man's filipino wife that is doing the posting. I am not related to Gay Chao Hui's wife.

westman
12-09-11, 17:21
Sounds very much like the love-hate relationship between PAP and Singaporeans.

Oops, I am the old man's filipino wife that is doing the posting. I am not related to Gay Chao Hui's wife.

Hi Bro Wenqing, you in SG or China now? Have yet to see u here for quite a while.... :cheers6:

evergreen
12-09-11, 21:11
Well I will not volunteer an information like I just bought a new car or a new condo/house. Usually my parent/kids will take care of that! I'll just acknowledge when asked by my relatives! LOL!

That's what I'm afraid of. So I don't tell my parents :D

irisng
12-09-11, 22:04
Sometimes I feel that buying a branded car is more of a showoff than buying a condo or landed!

Well I will not volunteer an information like I just bought a new car or a new condo/house. Usually my parent/kids will take care of that! I'll just acknowledge when asked by my relatives! LOL!

Nobody knows (include my own brothers and sisters) that we have a 2nd car (but a SECOND HAND CAR, haha), except my husband side because occasionally, we need to have 2 cars to go to Malaysia with my in-laws for a short holiday.

irisng
13-09-11, 20:31
Nobody knows (include my own brothers and sisters) that we have a 2nd car (but a SECOND HAND CAR, haha), except my husband side because occasionally, we need to have 2 cars to go to Malaysia with my in-laws for a short holiday.

Am I bragging? Sorry my apology if I phrase it wrongly, I don't mean it.:not-worthy:

howgozit
13-09-11, 20:38
Sounds very much like the love-hate relationship between PAP and Singaporeans.

Oops, I am the old man's filipino wife that is doing the posting. I am not related to Gay Chao Hui's wife.

Wah... hats off to Wenqing... didn't know this topic which is off tangent can also be politicised.

irisng
13-09-11, 21:08
Some useful guidelines

5. If possible, stagger the time you arrive at big functions. If you can know her time of arrival, you plan something so that you genuinely arrive late so can minimize time together! But of course not at the expense of precious time with other relatives! :D

It is quite difficult because most of the time she arrived late. Remember 1 year when we had our reunion dinner, supposed to meet at 7pm at Long Beach Restaurant (East Coast), we waited till 7.45pm, still no sign of her, so we called her, guess what, she was still at home (Jurong) telling us that her daughter just came back from work. Alamat, she should have told us earlier that her daughter would not be back so early, so that we could change the reservation time slightly later. No choice, we had to go into the restaurant without her because we couldn't hold back people's business as our reservation time is 7.15pm. She arrived at 8.30pm, and we had already completed almost 4 dishes.

Every year, during prayer (to my deceased parents), she is always the one who initiates to buy the incense paper etc, then we will share out the cost, and yet she complains to people that we are so dependent on her :doh: .

radha08
16-09-11, 11:40
How do you rate a person who likes to indirectly criticise you in front of your friends / relatives but when nobody is around, this person will talk to you nicely and courteously.

do a search on borderline personality disorder...;)

irisng
16-09-11, 16:49
do a search on borderline personality disorder...;)

Thanks. No idea whether it is her natural personality or some borderline personality disorder. Sometimes, she told me that her parents side also very dependent on her, need her to help this and to help that but she was smiling away when she talked as though she was an important people. :spliff:

She looks normal to me. Knows how to act according to the situation and people. Sometimes her words carry "bone", but just ignore her as though she is talking to a wall.

Just recently, We have a celebration for my daughter's 21st birthday. My son brought his girlfriend along. It was the 1st time she saw my son's girlfriend. When my son's girlfriend asked my son to stand up and let my husband sit, you know what she said, "Don't need to "curry favor" until like that" :doh:. This makes my son's girlfriend so embarrassed. I think she is crazy, talked without going through her mind, offend people also don't know. :(

Is it this type of people is not happy with her present life but she has 2 grown up daughers who are very close and filial to her. Her younger daughter is an "U" graduate (supported by my 2nd brother during her "U" education) and is now working overseas. Her elder daughter works as an HR, doesn't mind to fetch her mother here and there when needed. Whats there to be unhappy with, if yes, maybe is her husband (whom is my elder brother) who seldoms involve in the family activities, but she shouldn't blame me for all this:tsk-tsk: . Don't know is it purposely or unintentionally, she likes to say some sarcastic remarks in front of my in-laws/friends. I also didn't offend her. Maybe she sees that my husband can help me with my housework and most of the outing, we went together. A bit of jealousy, I think.:character0029:

hopeful
16-09-11, 17:19
Wah... hats off to Wenqing... didn't know this topic which is off tangent can also be politicised.

your offer still on?
The one that accept Christ and get free Playstation 2.
I click on the pic and get membership info instead.

How to take up the offer?

ysyap
16-09-11, 17:25
Comfort yourself with the fact that you are blessed with a nice family and don't bother about her words and actions. I came to a point of immunity when I can sieve out voices I don't want to hear. Oops! I was sitting in front of this person who's talking to me. I was deep in my world and practically couldn't hear what she said. Then I smiled in acknowledgement, clueless of whether was I required to answer any questions she might have asked! Oops! I'm horrible, am I?

ysyap
16-09-11, 17:26
your offer still on?
The one that accept Christ and get free Playstation 2.
I click on the pic and get membership info instead.

How to take up the offer?Can ask for iphone 5 instead?

irisng
16-09-11, 21:20
Comfort yourself with the fact that you are blessed with a nice family and don't bother about her words and actions. I came to a point of immunity when I can sieve out voices I don't want to hear. Oops! I was sitting in front of this person who's talking to me. I was deep in my world and practically couldn't hear what she said. Then I smiled in acknowledgement, clueless of whether was I required to answer any questions she might have asked! Oops! I'm horrible, am I?

Pardon me if I say any offensive word. Isn't it a bit rude not to listen attentively to what people said but still I think this is also a good idea of treating nuisance people. I think I must train myself also so that I won't get disturbed by what she said and also try not to let her and my in-laws/friends meet, haha!:p, lesser problem.

My 2nd sister has a very good nature character. Whatever my sister-in-law criticises her, she will just smile and said "ayah, is like that one lah", so my sister-in-law "mark" her as "couldn't care less" type of people (天塌下来当被盖). I think it is better to just smile and not to answer anything, feel safer :D , but sometimes simply cannot control my temper leh, sign... must train hard and tell myself to calm down, calm down, calm down. :cool1:

howgozit
16-09-11, 22:23
your offer still on?
The one that accept Christ and get free Playstation 2.
I click on the pic and get membership info instead.

How to take up the offer?

Aiyah :doh: ... apologies, too late..... PS2 outmoded so can't give out



But if you like, PS3 offer is available here... http://www.landoverbaptist.net/PS3.htm